Beating up Virginia. Bringing on Baylor.

// September 14th, 2008 // Uncategorized

Everything was clicking for us, in every phase of the game.
Let me break this down for you by unit:

OFFENSE:
Donny Brown was over 200 yards rushing. Again.
Our offensive line, led by Keith “the Koala” Grey, and Mo “Laden” Petrus is absolutely punishing opposing defensive lines.*
What did I say in my previous post? Everyone who was about to try and run Tyler Lorenzen out of town is now singing his praises. Kid works hard. And it pays off.
Nice catch and run by Steve Brouse. He’d make Zack Morris proud.

*Not the UConn Defensive line. Ever.

SPECIAL TEAMS:
Desi Cullen was hanging kickoffs in the September night sky. He averaged 4.4 seconds of hang-time on those blasts. Well done Dez.
Return-men: Being slow, fat, and white–I admire your work. It looks like you’re on ice skates out there…not sure how you’re doin’ it. But keep on keepin’ on.

DEFENSE:
Linebacker play was outstanding, and holding UVa to just 30 yards rushing is an accomplishment. But I think we need to take note of Julius Williams’ and Cody Brown’s sack celebrations. I see a future on Dancing With the Stars for both of you…possibly together.

I’d also like to commend Julius Williams for bringing the jockstrap back into style. If you ask him he’ll tell you that it makes him “feel like a cat out there” (apparently it lifts AND separates). I’ve been told its like the “Wonder Bra of the gridiron.” I’m not that curious nor secure enough in my manhood to go down that road, so I’ll stick to the Under Armour.

My Post Game Thoughts:

I take no greater pleasure than absolutely dismantling opposing offenses. Seriously, knowing all the time we put in to lifting, and running, and conditioning, endless film sessions, and even longer practices, there is a supreme feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction knowing that our best was better than their best. Our fast is faster than their fast. Their offensive line was a little on the soft side and certainly a bunch of sore losers. For people attending the university founded by Thomas Jefferson I’d expect a little more. They weren’t good sports and didn’t stay around after the game to shake hands or even wish us luck…so much for Southern Gentleman.

Speaking of Southern Gentleman, and judging by their fan section, I’d like to offer a suggestion to their athletic department: seersucker football pants, and jerseys with a popable collar. And for the accessory obsessed…optional pearl necklaces. Get back to me, I’ll sell you the rights at a price.

There is something thats not so intimidating about fans that look like they stepped out of the J Crew Catalog . Then again, I do play football in Connecticut, a state that had a pro basketball team called the Millionaires (here’s to you, Greenwich!), and practically founded the conservative-preppy look.* Bottom line: Our fans are awesome; theirs suck.

*As I type this I’m wearing seersucker shorts and a peach colored polo. Seriously. And yes, I am sorry.

BIG PROPS:
Well done, student section. Loud as hell. Worked to our advantage on defense. Thanks for getting us that delay of game penalty, we owe you that. Again, please stay until the end of the game. I mean, you pay for the ticket…enjoy the show.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
We have a tremendous test this coming week. The fellas from Baylor are bigger (insert bigger in Texas pun here), stronger, and faster than the competition we’ve seen the past three weeks. Also it’s a short recovery week, since we play on Friday. Furthermore, their quarterback is definitely legit and extremely athletic.

I’ve also been told by numerous sources that Coach Hank Hughes referred to me as the “Brains of the Defensive Operation on the field” in his ESPN interview. And while he’d never say such a thing to my face, I’d like to say that is the closest to to a compliment I’ve received from him in five years. This is the same man that once told me I was playing so bad, I was “…stealing from the program being on scholarship.” Thanks, Coach. I think.

I need to give a huge shout out to my favorite UConn Dad (other than my own father Judge Lunn), Scott Lutrus’ Dad, “Big Al.” You are one of a kind–and unlike myself, the ESPN Cameras don’t add 20lbs to you. See for yourself:

Atta boy, Big Al!


5 Responses to “Beating up Virginia. Bringing on Baylor.”

  1. Doc says:

    A hackneyed, masturbatory miscarriage of a blog post.

    The fact that this blog exists is the ultimate argument against Creationism.

  2. 3000HAWKS says:

    Jeez if I felt as Doc did I guess I would read someone else’s blog. While James Joyce’s place is safe at the pinnacle of modern writing, give our 65 some respect please.
    Good words on your review of the UVA game and UConn performance.
    I saw, during a tour of Shenkman and Burton, those plastic looking supports for the legs you said you lost. They look like they would maybe be a little uncomfortable.
    Thought you handled the Joe D radio session pretty well too. Good luck Friday night!!

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