Archive for December, 2008

Going Canadian…

// December 31st, 2008 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

We left Storrs at 7 am, which means I rolled out of bed at 6:30 am.

Anywhere else in the college universe this is Christmas break, so by those standards (like dog years) it was basically too early.

I’ll skip the details on breakfast, the bus to charter, and even the “color coding” system we’ve worked out for luggage.

We chartered a Miami Air jet, to fly to Canada. I’m hoping this irony isn’t lost on anyone. That sense of humor wasn’t lost on our pilot, who got on the intercom and informed us, “We’ve just landed in Buffalo. Local temperature is a balmy 5 below zero…enjoy your stay.”

From Buffalo we made our way (by bus) to the Canadian border. I had been warned about the horrors of Canadian Customs. Apparently people still smuggle “pelts” into (and out of) Canada. I wish I was lying. I’d also like to meet a “pelt smuggler” and promptly inform him that this isn’t 1845. The pelt trade is dead. Anyway, we get to our custom’s holding point. A Canadian official boarded the bus, smiled and gave us this little speech,

“So, UConn Eh? Great. Well-enjoy your stay, have a good match. What is this Hockey…or Rugby? Be safe, enjoy Canada. Good weather today eh?”

I wish I was making that up. I heard Mo Petrus and Martin Bedard (our team Canadians) groan, as this guy had just set their people back about 25 years, undoing all that Joe Canada had done during the 90’s.

(See Below)

Anyway, Toronto is a great cityso far, (we’ll see how tonight goes). I’m yet to see a moose or igloo, but I’m hopeful.

Also, Scott Lutrus is my roommate again this year. If anyone remembers last year’s bowl blog..tune in for more of the same. He’s currently showering…..

Check back soon:


Player Profile

// December 28th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

A little self-promotion. Thanks to a big FWG fan, Chris, for sending this to me:
Click To Enjoy

Tales From a YMCA Lockerroom

// December 23rd, 2008 // 7 Comments » // Uncategorized

Here’s a fresh piece of wanting to end my life.
Why is it every time I’m home and I decide to workout at the “Y,” one of two things happens?

I pick the empty locker, sit down to tie my shoes (fresh Nikes of course), and immediately I am ambushed by two old men wearing nothing but water socks. Literally, nothing but water socks…teal, which groan out an obligatory “SQUISH” each time these two poster children for euthanasia step towards me. They finally decide to take mercy on me (no more feasting on this eye candy for FWG), sit down on the bench as their “back flaps” and “man moles” graze my sides ever so slightly. A tingle of shear horror crawls up my spine. Just when I think it can’t get any worse, apparently it’s time to dry off. I can only describe it as how your golden retriever might shake off a quick dip in the lake.
It was like a car crash. You don’t wanna look, but somehow it’s always in your line of sight. All that friction. Too much naked. Gross.

I settle in to do my workout. In and out (after 5 years with Coach Martin, there’s no other way to do it). And, of course, there’s some hair-gelled, cut-off sporting, fitted-hat-wearing bro-ski doing 10 sets of bench (really wailin’ on the pecs…keep the body guessin’). All I want to do is get one set in, but this guy has his iPod Nano all tuned up with techno, so he’s bumpin’ and I can’t get a word in edgewise. Of course, he’s with his four buddies, all clones of the aforementioned description, so its 5% workout, 95% talk about last night. I’d be lying if I said the conversation didn’t meander its way to Jaeger Bombs and Skanks at least two times. This whole encounter left me a little upset at the direction of my town. I did get on the NYS Thruway didn’t I? Or did I make a left and end up on the Jersey shore? I was one glowstick and IRoc sighting away from launching a full scale investigation.

Some Final Thoughts:

I met Coach Edsall’s brother-in-law today at the Y. See, everyone has roots in Upstate. It’s God’s country. (West Virginia was a close second…)

A Husky Transfering…

// December 22nd, 2008 // 7 Comments » // Uncategorized

Everyone enters college football with the same goal. Win as many games as possible, get a great education, and have a wildly successful career. Unfortunately it’s not that easy (for most). There are adjustments to make, and different paths to be taken. Over the past five seasons I’ve said goodbye to a lot of my teammates, for varying reasons. Some were cancers that had to be removed for the good of the team. Others suffered injuries and decided that college football simply wasn’t in their best interest. And still others decided that UConn wasn’t the best fit for them.
Today, I had to say goodbye to another teammate, which was especially difficult for me. I was conflicted on whether to post this, but in the end I decided it might be a fitting tribute to a person that I feel will be wildly successful in any and all that he does. It was just one of those cases where UConn wasn’t the right fit for his goals and aspirations any longer.
My good friend C.J. Marck is transferring. I wish him nothing but the best luck. He comes from an outstanding family and has a tremendous work ethic and love for the game. I hope that the fans of UConn Football understand that he hasn’t given up on UConn nor the “game.” Again, it is simply a case of what is best for him right now and in the big picture. C.J. was the kind of guy that brought a positive attitude to the locker room and brought a passion to all things football. I wish him nothing but the best.

Going Home For Christmas

// December 22nd, 2008 // 8 Comments » // Uncategorized

Hit Play Before Reading:

Ahh, it’s Christmas time in Storrs (and the Nike socks were hung in the lockers with care…with hope that St. Randy soon would be there). One last practice (meetings starting in about 20 minutes), then it’s a 5-hour drive to Upstate New York. Leaving the frosty tundra of Storrs for the…frosty tundra of Rochester, New York. Nothing like getting on the New York State Thruway, and 350 miles later you’ve seen so much snow your retina’s are seared and each barn is more dilapidated than the next.

It’s been a great week of practice (monotony aside). It kind of had a feel somewhere between training camp and spring ball. The intensity was a lot higher than a normal practice (indicated by a few swinging fists and extra jawing by the interior linemen).

Anyway, I’m off to practice, but not before some…

Final Thoughts:
I just finished reading “Playing for Pizza” by John Grisham. Unbelievable read. I highly recommend it to anyone who likes a good book, character driven. (Uh oh, NCAA…did I just endorse something?).

Please Check out Apparently I am not the only athlete out there in the blogosphere. Extra Incentive: FWG may be writing for them starting January 4th (hint, hint).

Huskies are making going bowling a tradition. Tune in for some live blogs and guest blogging on other sites. I’ll be sure to keep you updated.

Desi Cullen: Kicker, Lover,…Appendectomist?

// December 20th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

Desi Cullen. Man. Kicker. Hair Model. And now…out-patient.

That’s right people, Desi Cullen had his appendix removed. This procedure is referred to as an appendectomy. Don’t worry, Desi is alright and recovering nicely.

The question was posed, how did this happen? I’ll tell you how it didn’t happen: from hitting, running, or over exertion: These are all things the “Kick Squad” avoids at all costs. No, while the rest of us are sweating it out, these young man grace our sidelines(sans helmets), telling jokes, and occasionally swinging their legs. So while we keep Desi in our prayers for a speedy recovery, we also need to remind people that, no, this didn’t happen during inside run.

Helmets are an unwelcome accessory to our members of “The Kick Squad.” Like a designer purse or handbag, these items are less function and more style.

FWG Puts ‘Cuse in His Crosshairs

// December 20th, 2008 // 8 Comments » // Uncategorized

Here at Thoughts From a Fat White Guy we (the proverbial we…the royal “we”) are always trying to provide you with the freshest content possible. Not too long ago I took a shot at the ‘Cuse women’s hoops team for dropping one to the Alaska-Anchorage Seadogs. I’m thinking of starting a weekly feature highlighting the ridiculousness that comes out of Central New York. This week I bring you:

Jim Boeheim Fights a Microphone
(please observe the 38 second mark, when Boeheim shoots a suspicious look at the sound guy)

After losing to Cleveland State…could it get any worse?
You just know he’s thinking, “Damn..where’s Carmelo?”

Donny Brown: All-American

// December 18th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

Finally DDB gets a little of the credit he deserved.
An outstanding running back, who carried be ball 30+ times a game, defenses loaded the box and he still imposed his will. Enjoy:

Final Thoughts:
Check back for a new post on the monotony of bowl preparation:

An Early Look at Buffalo

// December 16th, 2008 // 10 Comments » // Uncategorized

Bowl game preparation is underway. Bittersweet for many reasons (but then again, too few to mention).
But here is an early look at Buffalo:

This isn’t your grandmother’s Buffalo team - Joe D’Ambrosio

Dynamite quote Joe (Dy-no-mite). Actually, he’s right.
Remember those UConn v. Buffalo games of past? (ahh the good ol’ days). Yes, remember back to a time when NCAA 2004 listed Buffalo as our “rivalry” game. We had a good chuckle (I laughed about it again later that night). Rivalry? What are you talkin’ ’bout rivalry? (Practice? what you talkin’ ’bout practice!?)

Those games were blowouts.
(cue music…or just press here:

That simply isn’t the case anymore. Last year my good friend on the University of Buffalo team, Chris Callahan, (Big Tom Callahan’s son…) told me that the guys were coming together. He said that they were literally one or two big plays or big moments away from turning the corner. I talked to him briefly this past summer, and he said they were committed to the cause.
Their commitment shows. First bowl game in school history.

They have an athletic (and ruthless) offensive line. Guys were offered by UConn and went to Buffalo (sacriligious, I know). They also are numbers guys. I’ve never been one to rely on simple stats, but when you have a couple of 300+lb guys running sub five second 40s. They are doing something right.
Behind the big uglies is Drew Willy (insert Free Willy joke here) who was 19-of-28 passes for 206 yards and three touchdowns against Ball State (Well done, Willy).
When not throwing touchdowns (and enjoying walks on the beach) Drew likes to spend his time handing off to prolific runner (and all around good-guy) James Starks. Starks is hard-nosed and can break tackles (and hearts! Watch out ladies!).

Their defense is built around capitalizing on turnovers (Ball State must have missed the memo). In order for us to win this game we will have to minimize our turnovers on offense, and create opportunities on defense.

I would say this to all fans of UConn football (or college football in general) who are thinking of dismissing this game. It was not so long ago that a little team from Storrs made its way to Detroit during the winter of ‘04. UConn has turned the corner from “maybe-program” to “Big East title contender.” Take note: Buffalo is NOT far behind.

Some Final Thoughts:

I can’t find the remote to my TV. It’s driving me nuts. Imagine having to get up and change the channel every time I want to watch something new. I’m practically living Amish.

Its official. FWG will be doing some writing for NESN and then in March I will be playing overseas in Austria. I’ve already ordered my lederhosen and brushed up on my “Sound of Music” trivia…you know…to fit in with the locals.

Ich werde hinter sein. Ich bin Dick.

You Know What Really Grinds My Gears…

// December 14th, 2008 // 7 Comments » // Uncategorized

Heres a hot-steaming pile of ridiculous:
Donny Brown unseats Pat White from his two-year reign as Big East Offensive Player of the Year (heavy is the crown Pat, heavy is the crown). Donny was the leading rusher in the nation all year. Donny is the most stand up human being of all time (Donny was a good man, he surfed the beaches of San Pismo…). He is given this honor, which he most deserved. Then makes SECOND TEAM All-America (Put your boots on. Careful not to step in the bull-sh*t).

But, what else can we expect?

Some Final Thoughts:
Having no finals during finals week? Priceless. Some time off to visit family.

…and apparently explore my metro-sexuality. Seriously. The things we do for love (I know I’m just providing great material for my teammates here). My Aunt (who owns a salon) thought it would be a good idea to wax my eyebrows (why would anyone ever do that more than once?).

I took the girlfriend to see “Mamma-Mia” (the music of ABBA set to a story line…).
And you know what? I’m not gonna say I hated it. I wish I could sit here and entertain you with how I checked my timepiece every 5 minutes. I didn’t. In fact, I may have been caught singing Dancing Queen more than once (It’s really not my fault. Do you have any idea how catchy those songs are?…MAMA-MIA…HERE I GO AGAIN).

Just cause I’m a fat meathead does NOT mean I cannot enjoy the finer things
(I’m all cultured now).

I graduate tomorrow (Sunday)…yes me, the FWG, is done with his “book-lern-’n.” Follow your dreams, you can achieve your goals…I’m living proof.