Archive for January, 2009

FWG: Some Things Never Change

// January 29th, 2009 // 11 Comments » // Uncategorized

A certain picture has surfaced. Thanks to a certain “friend.” (With friends like this, who needs enemies?).

This would be my Little League All-Star Team (regional champs that year)
See if you can find the FWG*

The reason I say some things never change:

*FWG Bottom Right with Arms Extended

FWG: The Birth Control Drive-Thru (Hilarity Ensues)

// January 29th, 2009 // 8 Comments » // Uncategorized

While I’m sure my girlfriend will probably kill me for posting this, last night was just too fun (read: incredibly awkward) not to post. We’ve already discussed the whole “flipping the Jeep Cherokee on the highway” thing, since that little event left my girlfriend without her car and instead driving her old man’s “dumpster-pick-up truck” (a.k.a. what he uses to take the trash to the dump). Well, after rolling the car twice I have been a little “gun shy” about driving my Jeep Wrangler. Aside from the fact that my Wrangler is incredibly fun to drive, it looks like a strong sneeze could blow it over. So in this winter weather I have been trying not to drive it. Which has left me with said dumpster-pick-up.

I got out of my training session and got a text from the girlfriend telling me she needed me to grab her and her friend Jenn from class. That’s fine, after all I am driving “her car” and I was literally 100 yards away from the School of Business.

So I swing by, she and Jenn get in the truck and I assume that I am dropping Jenn off at her place then taking the girlfriend back to mine. Wrong. They ask me if I could go to CVS so they can pick up their medication. I should have realized that medication is girl code for “the pill.” But the abundance of sniffles and coughs in the car I assumed it was antibiotic or cold medicine or maybe some combination of the two.

Now we get to CVS and they ask me to go to the drive-through. I ring the buzzer, and a pharmacist appears. She goes through the usual formalities. “Name, address, telephone.” I give her the required response, automatically reciting my girlfriend’s information. And she comes back about 4 minutes later, incredibly confused. I’m sorry Alex (girlfriend has a gender neutral name-how convenient). Your…(hesitates) birth control prescription was never called in. Instant laughter from the backseat.

This hit me wrong for two reasons.
1. I didn’t know I was getting birth control.
2. Why wasn’t my girlfriend’s BC there? I didn’t want her “pulling the goalie” without talking to the coach (me) first.

So now I am having a conversation with the pharmacist being fed information about “my” birth control from the backseat. Birth control wasn’t there, her doctor had screwed up. Great, no nookie for the FWG tonight (did I really just say nookie?) The pharmacist was finding no humor in this situation, and tried to say goodbye, next customer please. Only we had to repeat the process with her friend, Jenn.

I would compare this to any late night trip to the McDonalds Drive through, with your drunk buddies in the back seat. Frustrated McDonalds employee is trying to discern the information you are relaying over an inaudible, at best, intercom. That’s right, CVS has now opened, “the birth control drive through”….hold the fries.

Zach Frazer: A UConn Man Through and Through

// January 26th, 2009 // 11 Comments » // Uncategorized

Zach Frazer transferred to UConn from Notre dame in 2007. For anyone that doubted his commitment to UConn after leaving the beloved Green and Gold, Frazer’s loyalties lie solely with UConn (and maybe a little with Subaru). Saturday night Frazer proved that his only ties to the bastion of Catholicism and College football are with his girlfriend who is still a student there.

Behold Frazer on ESPN’s coverage of the UConn men playing Notre Dame:

Well done Zach.
Way to rep U-C-F-B
*Special FWG thanks to Emily Noonan for getting these pictures.

Crash and Burn. Wear Your Seatbelts

// January 26th, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

The rest of the story can be read HERE, at Chris Cooley’s Blog.
But for the UConn Fans who wanted to be updated on my life post-UConn Football and the journey to playing Pro in Europe. Didn’t think I’d meet this little bump in the road (pun intended).
Wear your seat belt.
Locked in the back of a Police Car. On accident. Oops.
The Girlfriend too.


// January 26th, 2009 // 9 Comments » // Uncategorized

UCONN is the new “Running Back U.” There. I said it. And I’m sure every subsequent visit to Storrs (running backs coach)Terry Richardson will remind me. Terry Caulley, a great talent found his niche in the CFL. This year Donny Brown emerged as one of college football’s great running backs. Certainly the greatest UCONN has ever seen. With a promising NFL career ahead of him, it is hard not to love the guy. But what makes UCONN ground zero for great running backs is their depth at the position and the ability to cultivate talent.
Graduating Donny Brown leaves a gap in the offense. But freshman running back, (North Dartmouth native) Jordan Todman provided some interesting moments for UCONN ripping off yards from opposing defenses in unlikely situations. And please don’t forget Andre Dixon. An All-Big East Performer in 2007, the combination of Todman and Dixon will provide the leg power to drive the spread offense under new offensive coordinator Joe Moorhead.
Brown was a highly touted but under recruited running back out of New Jersey. Andre Dixon and Jordan Todman both flew under the radar of major programs right in their own back yards (Rutgers and BC respectively). And yet they both look to provide a 1-2 punch that will likely be UCONN’S offensive threat.
What about full back Anthony Sherman? He quietly became UCONN’s most outstanding receiving threat, providing an extra dimension out of the backfield, and a consistent blocker as well as ball carrier in short-yardage situations.
With PITT losing Shady McCoy, I would say the top running back threat to be watched is a lock between WVU and UCONN. Is my opinion biased? Absolutely. After all, I am a graduate of Running Back U.


The Arizona Cardinals will be playing the Pittsburgh Steelers in Super Bowl XLIII in Tampa, Florida. In an equally intriqing match up: We see if Rogain Foam wins the battle against Dying Hair Folicles this month on Rob Lunn’s scalp.

The story line of the Super Bowl is really whether the most hated owner in the NFL, Bill Bidwill (Cardinals) can prevail over one of the most beloved men in the NFL, Steelers owner, Art Rooney. Win or lose Rooney, Bidwill, and Kurt Warner will all be catching the early bird special at Denny’s on February 2nd.

According to Rick Reilly, Larry Fitzgerald is “the anti-TO” because he doesn’t complain, or celebrate and “…dresses and speaks impeccably.” No. What makes him the anti-T.O. is that he’s the marquee receiver in the Super Bowl, not at home on his couch throwing darts at an 8×10 of Tony Romo.

Kurt Warner and Wife.
Spokespersons for the “One-size-fits-all-gender-neutral-haircut.”

FWG: UConn Running The “Hurry-Up?”

// January 23rd, 2009 // 10 Comments » // Uncategorized

The Rob Ambrose era is officially over at UConn. Joe Moorhead has been hired to replace Ambrose, who took the head coaching position at Towson University. After a season in which the offense was anemic at best, UConn is now looking to Moorhead to inject some life and creativity into the UConn scoring game.
More interesting than Moorhead’s coaching pedigree (most recently serving in the same capacity at Akron University) is his plans for UConn’s offense on the field. The word from sources close to the progam is that UConn will be running a No-Huddle -Hurry-up Offense. Think of it as the two minute drill, for an entire game. For those that are unfamiliar with the system, current examples of this in college football landscape include WVU and Oklahoma.
While there is no word on whether or not UConn will be running a spread offense as well, there are definitely some questions yet to be answered. Most importantly: Can they replace Donny Brown?
Hopefully Moorhead has a plan to implement a more balanced offensive scheme. The end of the 2008 season consisted of handing the ball off to Donny Brown 30-40 times a game, with absolutely no passing threat. With less talent at the running back position this year it is going to be interesting to see if the “No-Huddle” gimmick will work.
There are already grumblings from an offensive line that is bigger than they are quick, which would suggest the players themselves are more comfortable in a slow paced methodical offensive scheme. “No huddle short yardage and inside run? I hope [Moorhead] is joking.” was one player’s response to the rumor of running the no huddle.
Whatever the case, Moorhead has his work cut out for him. Turnovers and play calling hurt the Huskies down the stretch, and without the legs of Donny Brown to keep the offense rolling it could be a long season for UConn.


// January 23rd, 2009 // 16 Comments » // Uncategorized


As I sit here, currently 3:19am on January 21st, I realized after 2 sleepless hours in my bed what better to do than write my “guest blog appearance” for the FWG. First off, let me get a few things straight before you all expect so much. I am NOT an English major. I do NOT blog for fun. I am NOT omniscient as Rob Lunn portrays himself to be. And…I do NOT possess the wit and humor that he so passionately presents to you every day. I AM Scott Lutrus.

I have been fortunate enough to be granted the opportunity from the FWG to post my own entry on his site. I did not request this in an effort to receive a job offer (but I will consider any proposal) or to bring attention upon myself. For once, I understand how Temple felt throughout the past year and all I want…is a little JUSTICE. Throughout the previous year, I have been asked time and time again if I really sing the UCONN fight song in the shower and where I buy my “Cucumber Soothing Regenerative Wrinkle Inhibiting Night Time Mask.” As I hate to be the bearer of bad news, if you haven’t realized by now, 90% of Rob’s entries are false and that is why I am here to spell the truth and what you may not know about Robert M. Lunn. I am going to hold off on that highly anticipated information while I’d like to get a few random thoughts off my chest.

1…Rob Lunn Receives Job After Writing Fluke Blog

Yes, it turns out that a man with too much time on his hands and a perky sense of humor can simply earn a job. If only it was that easy to land a career by being fat…white…and a guy. Kudos to you, Rob.

2…Rob Really Overachieved

I know that he has harped on this before and most of us have all thought it, but his girlfriend really is WAY out of his league. (Sorry fella, just being honest here) By writing about this, Rob received numerous pity emails that read, “Don’t put yourself down, you’re gorgeous too!” “You’re not a minor league, you’re a pro just like your girlfriend!” and “Will you marry me?” Well Rob, whatever it takes to make yourself feel better.

3…Rob Lunn is NOT Bald

Contrary to popular belief, I have to admit the man is not bald. Of course many jokes can be made about being fat and bald..and it has worked, but it is false. I could simply shave my head with a straight blade every week and begin calling myself hairless but then again, I’m not a liar.

During the past 2 bowl games, Rob has exposed quite a share of information about me, whether it is true or false. The knowledge that I am about to share with you is ALL true.

Believe it or not, in his younger years as a child before his “blogging career” took off, Rob was an actor. With his charming grin and picturesque blond hair, he was the national figure for the innovative Kodak Easy Share (usually found at your typical Walmart to develop pictures), commonly found in commercials. At the age of 12, Rob starred in his first movie, The Legend of Cryin’ Ryan, which he played a young boy named Billy. (For you doubters: With such a successful career at a young age, we all assumed he would continuously mature throughout college. My doubts turned into reality September 22nd, 2007. Which is also the day that we defeated Pittsburgh 34-14 at Heinz field. What occurred the night before was…well let’s just say, childish. As I walked into Rob’s Marriot hotel room on my way to breakfast the morning of the game, I noticed his bed was stripped of all the linens. A few thoughts rambled through my mind, “Maybe he had a nightmare?” “Maybe Cody Brown played a joke on him” or…”Maybe…he…wait, no he couldn’t have.” You guessed it, my last presumption was correct. I looked at Rob and didn’t even have to ask when he looked at me like any 6 year old would after wetting the bed and said in a soft tone, “I had an accident.” I understand that people may get nervous the night before the game and might lose a few hours of sleep because they’re concentrating so hard on the battle upon them, but at this age, the only excuse for soaking your sheets is a night of excessive drinking…and that certainly wasn’t the case. It’s time to grow up, Rob.

Now that I have shared some of the FWG’s secrets, I would like to sincerely thank all of the fans who take the time to support my good friend Rob Lunn by reading this blog and everyone who has taken the time to support our team on and off the field. Hope to see you all in the 2009 season. Signing out..SWG (Slender White Guy).

Jim Levitt is a Fascist

// January 23rd, 2009 // 12 Comments » // Uncategorized

Jim Levitt is a Fascist. Not your part time,” I don’t want to partake in Democracy-sometimes-Fascist.”(these men are Nihilists Donny, they care about nothing). An actual football Fascist, a malevolent dictator, answer to no-one, do as you please, top to bottom media control. Combine Fascism with the maturity level of a 5 year old and well, you can ask Europe what happened the last time those two attributes got together (you can thank us later France).
Why do I say this? Well his offensive coordinator, Greg Gregory, interviewed for another job, and he fired him without warning or consideration. He apparently has some axe to grind with one of his beat writers( Brett McMurphy of the Tampa Tribune), so what does he do? He cuts off his communication. “Don’t write what I like, NO QUOTES FOR YOU!” (channel your best Seinfeld-Soup-Nazi on that one).
So there are the two issues.
1. He fired Coach Gregory simply because he interviewed for another job. And he approached Levitt about it before hand. Poor guy comes back to work only to find out he has no job, “Ver are your papers? Your papers are not in order! You cannot see ze Fuhrer!” It wasn’t like he interviewed at another Big East school or any other so called “lateral” move. No, he interviewed at the University of Florida. This year’s National Champions (sorry, Utah). It’s a career-conscious move and now he is being punished for it because Levitt feels slighted. Shame on you Jimbo.
2. He is grinding out a personal issue, in the public spotlight with a member of the media. Now while it is a well-known fact amongst football writers that Jim Levitt only communicates through a complex series of grunts and sighs, and his disdain for the media is well documented, this is seriously over the top. Let the guy do his job Jim! You cannot just talk to one beat reporter and not the other. Apparently Levitt had a case of the sniffles that day in Kindergarten and chose not to join his classmates in learning how to share. Sharing is caring Jim, sharing is caring. But Levitt is the dictator, so I guess he can talk or not talk to whoever he pleases.
My point is this, with Levitt’s job security already weakening, why is he waging a personal media war and firing good, decent coaches? Another 2-5 record in the Big East and we can expect a coup.