// March 21st, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized
I’m not even sure where to start with this.
// March 21st, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Uncategorized
With any victory, there is doubters. Bonds breaks the home record? Steroids! Armstrong wins 7 Tour De France? Doping! FWG crushes a Villanova student in a pizza-eating contest? Did not finish the crusts!
// March 19th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Uncategorized
A few years back I (a UConn-man through and through) took a trip to Villanova to see my sister. This was their “Nova-Fest weekend.” Listen, it’s not even close to Spring Weekend in Storrs.
The stakes? The loser had to sing the other’s Fight Song.// March 19th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized
// March 19th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // Uncategorized
Let me tell you what a steady diet of cigarettes and booze will get you:
an entire country of ageless people. Well, maybe not the entire country (I mean, ever hot girl has to have an ugly friend). Everyday people-watching has now become my favorite pass time.
Which brings us to my teammate, Karl.
Karl is 34 years old, with two kids and a beautiful girlfriend.// March 18th, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized
In the news there has been a lot of talk about UConn’s (potentially) starting quarterback, Zach Frazer saying that in the offensive scheme they “will score 40 points a game.” The first quote was a reaction from head coach Randy Edsall saying that he had to “reel Zach in.”
I’d like to offer a different perspective. Yes, talk is cheap (and free advice is worth the price you pay) but don’t fault the guy for having a little moxy. It is a nice change to see a quarterback confidently regarding the new offensive scheme (in the face of losing the nation’s leading rusher, Donny Brown). So I wouldn’t “reel him in”, infact I’d turn him loose.
Read the rest HERE
// March 17th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized
So every St. Patrick’s day, as consistent as gravity, my buddy Kevin McGuigan undoubtably sends me an email telling me “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” I inevitably call him a drunk, he calls me fat, and we have a good laugh. But not before I remind him that St. Patrick was born in a Roman province, and is actually Italian. I then spend the rest of the day with a shit-eating grin on my face knowing that, “all the Irish have is a holiday celebrating an Italian.” However, in honor of the highest-Irish-holiday I have decided to compile a list of the most famous Irish athletes. along with the help of my Irish roommate, Ryan McGuire.
Do you know what happens when you do a Google search for “greatest Irish athletes.” A grainy picture of the most obscure boxer in history comes up. So I’ve decided to make him number one. 
John Lawrence (J.L.) Sullivan, He also was the first heavy weight champion ever of “Gloved Boxing.” Coincidentally, he was also the last heavy weight champion of “Bare Knuckle Boxing.” The jury is still out on how he did in “drunken-Irish-boxing” but the smart money is on “good” to “very good.”
Let’s hear it for the Irish guys who have made good. Forget the Super Bowl rings. His off the field accomplishments are more impressive. Bridget Moynahan? Giselle Bündchen? (yeah that’s a benefit of being in Austria, I can make the “ü”). I hate to put him this high on the list seeing as he is neither fat, nor unathletic. But despite his chisselled jaw, the girls he gets are still out of his league.
Listen, I don’t know if Larry Bird is actually Irish. But he played for the Celtics, so I am going to write him a pass. The guy shamelessly peddled Miller Lite and McDonald’s affectionately winning the heart of every red blooded American*. Besides, isn’t “everyone Irish on St. Patricks day?”
(*Much in the same way that I deny that Steve Nash is a Canadian)
The original Bad Boy of tennis (or the only bad boy of tennis?) John McEnroe comes in at number 4. His on the court antics, and off the court boozing make him a FWG fan favorite. I’d have put him higher, but he played tennis. Johnny Mac, can I borrow those short shorts?
The world’s greatest power lifter, David Banner. Irish through and through. Demolishing tanks? Impervious to bullets, bombs and other means of destruction? I think the IRA should start recruiting. Think about it, gets angry and is green on the inside. Those are Irish traits, friend. The Hulk is Irish. The end.
// March 16th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // Uncategorized
Karl is an Aquarius, he enjoys long walks on the Worteresee and French dining. His interests include football, basketball, hiking, and anything by Poe. Turnoffs are losing, cold weather, and liars.
I’ve even made it easier, he is featured in a picture with last week’s participant, Markus.// March 14th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized
Meet Manfred:
(Glamour Shots By Deb Half Price For A Limited Time Only)
Soccer goalie turned Marlboro man. This is the head of our organization, the man behind the scenes. More on this later….
// March 14th, 2009 // 5 Comments » // Uncategorized
On the morning of March 13th, 2009, the entire state of Connecticut dragged itself to work. I would suspect little protest if the legislators deemed this day an official holiday to honor (or memorialize, depending on your pessimism) the epic battle that was previously waged. No lives were lost, but plenty of sleep was. Indeed, last night was a night to remember, and not because of Andy Rautins’ faux hawk.
During the game, I received a text message that offered an astounding, yet accurate, summation of the contest. A friend wrote, “this is the single best basketball game I have ever seen.” That was after the conclusion of the third overtime.
Luckily, I watched the game at home. I can only imagine fans’ disapproval when pubs and sportsbars across the state shut down at 1:00am in accordance with Connecticut laws that govern the operating hours of alcohol institutions on weeknights.
Or imagine the lucky viewer who went to bed before Devendorf’s buzzer-beater was reviewed, only to wake up and discover that they spared themselves the six overtimes that were necessary to determine the same outcome. Moreover, that person should be grateful for two less hours of seeing Eric Devendorf. Hailing from 115 miles north of Detroit, he has earned nicknames of “roundball Eminem” and “8-Mile” from within the Syracuse community. And to be quite honest, it wouldn’t surprise me if his parents received a fine for littering when they threw him on the street. Furthermore, the fact that his miracle shot was cleared from the record books is proof that God works in mysterious ways.
And with Johnny Flynn and Paul Harris both hailing from Niagra Falls High School, Jim Beoheim would be foolish if he didn’t cut a check for the city’s Boys and Girls Club. And Rob Garrison, a high school teammate of Flynn and Harris and former UConn guard, is smiling somewhere in upstate New York.
For all intents and purposes, last night’s game was a tie. There was no winner; only a survivor. The primary starters played themselves to an even draw, leaving the victor to be crowned by second-string role players. If asked last night, I probably would have been an advocate of instituting a shootout rule (in the mold of corporate-sponsored halftime hotshot contests) to determine the winner. I can visualize Jeff Adrien repeatedly shooting from a mid-range hot spot in order to solidify his shooting touch in scout’s minds. Hasheem would be disqualified for attempting more than two lay ups in a row.
In 2006, after we suffered defeat in the Big East tournament at the hands of a Gerry McNamara heave, I can vividly remember the subconscious notion that if we won the big dance, everything would be forgiven. By nature, sports fans have a very short-term memory. If the current team brings home a national championship trophy, images of Eric Devendorf standing atop the scorers table will be a distant recollection, thankfully. To overcome the here-and-now essence of sports, and immediately be written into the history books as true warriors, is a proud accomplishment. Regardless of the season’s ultimate outcome, last night’s performance should certainly warrant the utmost respect and appreciation from fans… and maybe even a state holiday.
Copyright © 2012 Thoughts from a fat white guy. All rights reserved.
March 19, 2009 2:12 PM
WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ MAY SHOCK YOU!
Please continue reading at your own risk. You have been warned.
So I am sitting here on a nice Friday afternoon doing a little light reading, when I get a phone call telling me to look on Thoughts From a Fat White Guy blog.
Confused, I search for this popular blog and find a very interesting story involving a random Villanova Nate.
While I know this blog is very popular, I must say there are some inaccuracies in this most recent posting. While I am sure the author had no intention of being inaccurate, the truth about this story should indeed be known to the masses.
THE TRUTH: The Villanova kid actually won the pizza eating contest.
How is this you ask??? It’s simple…and its the truth.
FAT WHITE GUY NEVER ATE THE CRUST!!!!!
THE REAL STORY:
Similar to Rocky Balboa- underweight and overmatched but with a heart of a lion, poor Nate from Villanova woofed down his 5 pieces of pizza in a heroic performance just like that of Joey Chestnut against Kobayashi at the 2008 annual Coney Island hot dog eating contest.
Even though he did not finish first, Villanova Nate was cheated.
You read correct – Villanova Nate was cheated.
As FWG lifted his arms in victory, Villanova Nate looked down at the table covered in tomato sauce, bits of cheese, and what was left of FWG and Villanova Nate’s dignities, and saw 5 pieces of uneaten crust from FWG’s pizza slices.
Half choking to death on his own crust, Villanova Nate began somewhat coherently shouting at the spectators that he had been cheated! For as any self respecting, gluttonous pizza eating contestant knows, the crust must be eaten as well.
Everyone, especially FWG knew that it was a Pizza Eating Contest…not a Pizza Eating (minus the crust) Contest.
These pleas fell upon deaf ears as Fat White Guy pounded his chest and boasted of his ability to consume large amounts of carbohydrates in short time spans. Slightly nauseated, Villanova Nate was forced to watch FWG steal his true victory moment.
Shattered, and fearing that Fat White Guy may easily become enraged and snap Villanova Nate in half…Villanova Nate succumbed to defeat and was wrongfully made to sing a UCONN fight song. To this day Villanova Nate still regrets not fighting for what was truly his pizza eating contest victory.
UPDATE:
Let the masses know that to this day Villanova Nate still proclaims victory over Fat White Guy when this story is brought up over a nice hot X-Large Papa John’s pie. And in fact, Villanova Nate never completed the entire UCONN fight song, which technically means that full admission of defeat was never acknowledged.
Since this event, Villanova Nate has been so tormented by this moment of cheating that it is heard that him and several of his close friends refer to this event merely as Crust-gate.
And while several people at this Pizza Eating Contest will confirm that FWG did indeed leave 5 crust pieces behind…this is never brought up for fear that FWG will end the lives of these physically smaller human beings from Villanova.
And so it remains to truly be determined who is the undisputed Pizza Eating Contest Champion.
But make it be known that Villanova Nate is not one to back down from a challenge.
Should FWG truly want to see who can eat 5 pieces of Dominos Pizza in the shortest amount of time, Villanova Nate is waiting for you…with a freshly printed copy of the Villanova Fight Song.
That’s right, you heard it here first—Villanova Nate is not scared
And so in conclusion, this story is merely based on true events…it is not an actual description of what truly transpired that fateful March afternoon.
V for Villanova V for Victory,
Villanova Nate
Class of 2006