Archive for July, 2009

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot: Away Game

// July 31st, 2009 // 1 Comment » // bortamatch, sports innuendo, whiskey tango foxtrot, wob

Sports terminology has made its way into various other aspects of life. It’s logical. Sports are popular and easy to translate with competition and the like. One place that you’re never really sure if that’s alright is in the bedroom. Sure, you may joke around about it with your close friends, aside from ‘The Single/Double/Triple’ analogy {If you touch ‘em all, do you hit for the cycle? Or do they have to be separate instances? Can you even hit for the cycle? Once you try and codify things of this nature there are all sorts of rhetorical crevasses to be dealt with.}, nothing has really become mainstream. The Swedes have taken the lead in that category.

Bortamatch - away game. Hemmamatch - home game. Brilliantly simple. They even have little equipment bags for those going into hostile territory looking to pull off a big victory.

Barney Stinson absolutely has to have a hand in the production of these kits. Next question, how do we figure out who is wearing white and color? Is it baseball, where white is at home? Or football, where home {traditionally} wears their color? Or should we just go shirts and skins?

Tomfoolery in the Ice Bar

// July 30th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Stockholm, construction, inanity, wob

My not-so-little brother is in Sweden taking in everything that Stockholm has to offer. Which of course meant a trip to the Ice Bar {Something that I have yet to visit in my time here.}. It’s a tiny room and it’s, well, cold. That doesn’t mean that it needs to be boring.

We had the lady at the front door convinced that we were serious about wanting to go into the bar sans shirt. “Um, no, you have to wear the pancho.” Two minutes later we let on that there was no way we were going in without the coverall/little-kid-glove-clip combo. During a mixed drink in an ice cup, we decided to do what all good Wisconsin lads should do. Construct an ice-a-mid with the empties laying about.


And why not? With some help from some gentleman in town for the Pride festival, we completed our alcoholic tribute to the pharoahs and forced labor before we lost feeling in our fingers.

I Just Watched Footloose

// July 29th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

I have had quite a few “movie confessions” on this blog, since this whole thing started. Reid over at USA Today even got me to admit that I liked romantic comedies. Guilty as charged.
But today, flipping through the movie channels I came across Footloose. I’m not sure if it is Kevin Bacons asexual dance moves or the skin-tight Levi jeans–but kudos to 80’s dance moves.
And what about that dynamite dialogue:
“…what about the police, you know em?’
“Yeah”
“Sting?”
“No, the ones behind you”
Instant gold! How this didn’t take the Oscar for best picture in 1984 I’ll never know.
Not to mention the whole “learning to dance” montage:


Well done. Well done.
He drives a VW Beetle, he will play his music as loud as he wants, and he will dance in grain-silos all night long. Do not, I reapeat, DO NOT try and stop him.

Channel Your “Inner-Lance”

// July 28th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Uncategorized

Ever notice how sweet the logos on this site are. Even more, ever think how great you’d look wearing one of the FWG T-Shirts. Well, don’t thank me—thank Johanna Denapoli. She did the all the designing and now she needs your help.

Jo is riding in the 30th aniversity of the Pan-Mass Challenge (PMC). I’d like to spit a lot of statistics about riding and bikes (Yeah, she’s riding a Gary Fisher, with a Shimano 105 group) but the bottom line is that its a good cause and I think with things going the way they are in the world we could all use a little help.
Take your time, click the links, and enjoy your day.

The T.O. Show

// July 28th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Uncategorized

Yes it is 12:00 on a Tuesday. My semi-unemployment has me watching day time VH1 (remember when there used to be music….and of course, POP-UP VIDEOS). What could be be better than a show about my favorite football team, in a town 45 minutes west of me.
Wrong, wrong.
Crap, total crap. I’d rather watch Flava-Flav or Scott Baio. Heidi and Spencer on The Hills had more genuine acting than this. I love the Bills, but if a decade without a playoff birth didn’t push me over the edge, this just might. I’m warning you, Terrell…do not break my slightly oversized heart.
Final Thoughts:
Thoughts From A Fat White Guy would like to give it’s official endorsement to “More To Love” ; the genius minds at Fox have developed a reality show for plus sized women. I’m down with this. It’s The Bachelor meets Old Country Buffet. Well done America.
I’m going to Bills training camp this week, I’ll let you know how that works out.

Enter the Meat Grinder

// July 28th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Minnesota, scheduling, wob

Minnesota is jacking up the level of competition in the years to come. According to ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg they are looking to add Texas to a post-2009 slate that includes USC, Colorado and Oregon State after an already challenging 2009 schedule. Coach Tim Brewster ain’t scurred:

The schedule is extremely challenging, but that’s to my liking. I love the fact that we’re playing Air Force, we’re playing Cal, we’re playing Syracuse. We’re playing some really good football teams. Somebody said that we had the fifth most challenging schedule in America, and I like that. I think it’s a good thing.

Missing Indiana and Michigan during the conference schedule in 2009 helps the strength of schedule but eliminates two very winnable games. And going big seems to be helping recruiting:

But from a recruit’s perspective, I think that’s what they want. When I talk to recruits on the phone, they say, Hey, coach, who are you playing in the nonconference schedule? They want to know. When I say, We’re playing USC, you can sense an excitement in a young man’s voice. Kids want to play in marquee nationally televised games.

To be honest with you, I want the University of Minnesota to be on that stage. I want to play nationally televised games where tremendous exposure is put on our program. And when you play USC, that happens.

We’re going to play some other teams also that are going to give us exposure. I don’t think there’s a downside. I really don’t. We’re an ascending program the way I look at our program. We’re going to keep getting better. We’ll be up to the challenge of playing the type of schedules that we’re going to play at Minnesota through the next couple of years.

The added hypothetical exposure will be beneficial, but only with wins and bowl games. The big name teams seem to be offset by the standard BCS cupcake menu. Other schools currently on the docket from 2010-2015 are South Dakota, North Dakota State, Syracuse {Also the opening game of the ‘09 season.}, San Jose State, UNLV, Western Illinois, Miami of Ohio, South Dakota State and Ohio {www.gophersports.com}. Naturally this is incredibly premature and open to an abundance of change. They could conceivably play none of these teams if a school with a bigger checkbook comes calling. A lot of scheduling comes down to the strength of a school and the luck of hitting big name teams on a down swing and avoiding mid-majors on an uptick.

The final result will be interesting to see, but it will be difficult to ignore Minnesota scheduling big name teams from out of the conference. Although it will be a meat grinder, we’ll borrow words of wisdom from Wedding Crashers: Rule #76. No excuses. Play like a champion.

Irish Sport: Hurling

// July 28th, 2009 // 4 Comments » // Ireland, hurling, wob

The stereotypical Irish jokes write themselves with the name of a national sport being hurling. But the great majority of utterly wasted folks in pubs were foreigners. But hurling has absolutely nothing to do with drinking.

The sport of hurling is something that cannot be explained and be fully grasped, it must be watched. I attempted to summarize it but check out DJ Carey {The Michael Jordan of hurling, or so I was told by some hurlers in Kilkenny.} and some other youtube hurling clips after the intro videos below:


Oh yeah, they don’t get paid a dime for playing. They can do endorsements and that’s it. It goes against all American ideals {Do something. Get paid.}, but it’s admirable nonetheless. Hurlers have full time jobs and then train/play 40 hours a week at the highest level. Absolutely insane. There is also a women’s league, but it’s less popular, and the sport is called camogie. The money made by the GAA {Governing body of Gaelic sports} goes into development for the sport as well as cultural and community development. Hurling and Gaelic football {future post} were outlawed by the British in the early 20th century but continued to be played and resulted in the first Bloody Sunday at Croke Park {Which was fittingly the site of a major step to healing.}.

And one more odd rule that I can’t wrap my head around is that the third guy in a fight will get sent off. Two guys can scrap a bit and it’s cool, but even if the third man comes in to intercede peacefully, he gets punished. The thought process I guess is if you don’t have a third in the fray, there will be no fourth, etc. {Clarified by Emmet in the comments.}

Guess that’s a solid rule when you’re having a few beverages to avoid doing some hurling of your own. But as wise Irishman Oscar Wilde said, “The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.” So that’s what I’m-a going to do.

*If you came here for American football and are still reading, Notre Dame beat Navy 54-27 at Croke Park in 1996 and will return in 2012.

Princeton Finally Gets Something Right!

// July 28th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // Uncategorized

The 2009 Princeton Review evaluations of colleges and universities came out today. Thousands upon thousands of potential college students will buy this guide, comb through it with wide eyes and pimpled faces seeing their potential futures on the pages infront of them; MIT: Engineers, Berkley: Organic Beet Farmers, Rutgers: Sopranos Extras, and now The University of Connecticut: MEATHEADS.
That’s right, according to the Princeton Review UConn is now the #10 “Jock School” in the entire country (and Canada!). No, I did not bat an eye when I found out that my alma mater was at the forefront of Time Travel (yeah, it’s true). But #10 Jock School, hell yes. Now that’s something I can get my check book behind.

Linkage: Memorial to the Brickhouse

// July 27th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Minnesota, retro, wob

Walk On Boy back trying to get back in the blogging groove with some gratuitous Gopher retrophilia {HT: Brian Cook of The Sporting Blog and Smart Football.} celebrating the return to campus. Can we return to media guide photos like this please? I tried while I was in school, but the uptight photographers wouldn’t allow it. The fact that I wasn’t very good probably had something to do with it. Whatever.

Explore, enjoy and either be excited for the Gopher’s returning to campus and the great outdoors or thankful that your team is already outside. {Unless you’re a fan of Syracuse, Idaho or another team that plays in a dome.} However, I can already foresee people pining for the Metrodome during the first bad weather game at the Stadium-That Must-Not-Be-Named {And of course they didn’t allow liquor sales.}. Any suggestions for a nickname on par with The Brickhouse?

Back to The ROC

// July 27th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

Driving back to God’s country today. That’s right, Upstate New York.
Updates later today on a bunch of stuff.
But here’s a preview: UConn QB Zach Frazer stops by, and he’s looking slim, trim, and poised to win.

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