Sorry For The Absence, I’m Back!

// October 16th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

Many of you might have not posted in a little while. (thanks for all the emails)..well in addition to moving in to a new apartment, I was back in Upstate New York for my Great Grandmother’s Funeral.  Was it sad? You bet.  But she was 106 years old, an unbelievable woman, a mother to me, and…believe it or not, a huge football fan.  She was always more concerned with whether I got hurt or not, then she was with the outcome of any game—which was good in 2006 when we went 4-8.   The picture above is from my freshman year at UConn when me and my buddies Matt and Trey went home to Penfield to visit, she cooked us a literal feast.  Apparently I don’t get my height from her side of the family.

Anyway,  more new posts to come….. Sorry for the absence

I Give You: The Principal Hold

// October 9th, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Listen, this blog has given you plenty of catch phrases: Remember “Bar-Darwinism” or “Porkfully.“ Well, those are actually being trademarked as we speak.  In the  meantime, I’d like to give you my latest:  The Principal hold.   How this came to be, I’m sure will soon be the stuff of legend, but here’s how it all went down:

My Dad, bless his heart, is gracefully sliding into senility.  In this his slow descent into ineptitude, he often forgets little things: where he left his keys,  what day of the week it is, where his son lives and works.  You know, the small stuff.  Well, on one such occasion over baseball and beers, he asked me where I was working in Boston.  I told him NESN.  To which he replied, “No, no.  That other place.”  To which I said “The Place.”  To which he said “Yeah, whats the name.’  Well in your classic “Who’s on first” bit, I tried to inform him that the Bar’s name was called “The Place”—yes proper noun–try and keep up.

He then asked me if I ever roughed anyone up.  To which I denied, although I did say i had to walk some guy out a few weeks back, and he was so drunk he was like a gradeschooler.  He asked me if gave him the old heave-ho.  I told him, No, the place I worked at was a bit more upscale then the Double Deuce.

I said I walked him out like this. I proceeded to grab my Dad’s arm under the arm pit, lifting him up, and walking him towards the door.  Then it dawned on me:  Drunk guy acting like a 6th grader?  Holding his arm? BOOM! ….THE PRINCIPAL HOLD IS BORN!

Go forth, my sons, and use it wisely.  Just remember, FWG assumes no liability.  I want all the credit, with none of the blame….just so we’re clear.

Bobby Bowden Is Angry, Like Your Grandpa

// October 6th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

You know, my grandfather,  before he passed away, would exhibit the same passive aggressive-answer-dodging nonsense when pressed as to whether or not he was stealing batteries and yelling at the nurses.  Both happened to be true.  Well, I’m sure Bowden isn’t exactly the ‘Radio Shack Bandit” but….then again…he’s not exactly a spring chicken.    He’s old.  Real old.  (How old is he, Rob?!) Old enough to get a pass on farting in public, or referring to African Americans as “Negros” (inappropriate, Bobby….inappropriate).   So even though he wont comment on it, consider it a done deal.  Bowden era is over.  Go on Joe Paterno, crack a smile, you’ve earned it.

/I am Joe Paterno’s smirking revenge.

LIVE CHAT! Today @ 2pm

// October 1st, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

You can catch me chattin’ on all things football today at 2pm over at Rambling From The Runway.

Enjoy!

UPDATE:  Chat went great, including the guy who told me he had a crush on me freshman year (or, ehh, something to that effect).   Anyways,  check out the full transcript HERE