This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse: The Snowicane
// February 25th, 2010 // 2 Comments » // Uncategorized
It’s clear sailing here in Boston, while the rest of the North East, including Rochester, NY is getting hammered with snow, as my parents felt was news worthy enough for a 6am call. But no, let’s take it a step further. Let’s call it a “snowicane.” What the hell is a Snowicane? That word can’t be real. The product of some overworked, underpaid hack from the Weather Channel. Basically just scaring people into buying obscene amounts of canned goods. Which I never understood, at all. Mad run on the grocery store to survive the 12 inches of snow you get EVERY YEAR living in the North East. Cool it with the “I am Legend” stuff, alright? Then of course there will be the obligatory interview with some resident of “small-town-hit-by-storm, USA”, and Susie Homemaker will be all surprised. She literally “can’t believe” the weather. Look, you live there, you moved or grew up there. This has been happening every winter for the last 1,000 years. How is it possible you’re suprised? You can’t possibly be that dumb. I bet you think strippers like you too. Its 12+ inches. (that’s what she said). You can start freaking out when we get 4+ feet and your stuck huddled around a fire eating cans of Cambells Chunky for 3 days. Until then, chill with this SNOWICANE crap.
Yet another thing I’ll have to hear from every resident of Pennsylvania for the rest of eternity. Sure those glasses are like a miniature Hubble perched on his over sized schnoz, but $9,000? In related news, Bobby Bowden auctioned off his signature straw hat for $8,000 but then had to give some of the money back.
I’m sure this has been circulating around the Internet and I’m just the last to see it. Actually I’m certain of that, since that’s how this operation works here at FWG. We see something last, we report it like its first. That’s blogging 101, friend. But back to this detention notice. I wonder who this over zealous, self-righteous teacher was, handing out detention with no regard. The kid is obviously hilarious, and who the hell does she think she is having to note that “you have to push it in further” is just an “innocent comment.” Who’s intelligence is she insulting? The Principal? Mine? The masses who read this blog. Someone needs to take this woman down a peg or two. And yeah I’ve assumed it’s a woman, because obviously any guy teacher would think that’s hilarious and/or give this student a high-five. Dear Teacher, I hope you’re satisfied. (That’s what she said).
