D.J. Shoemate Transfers to UConn: Here Is What You Don’t KNow

// July 13th, 2010 // 4 Comments » // Uncategorized

USC has lost another one of their recruits since the NCAA violations caused a virtual firesale on the PAC-10 powerhouse’s prized recruiting stable.  I personally couldn’ t enjoy more what is happening to Lane Kiffin, but that is neither here nor there.  Fans of UConn football might be asking themselves how did Shoemate end up at UConn?

Not that I would dare ever insult, question, or demean the recruiting efforts of Coach Edsall and his staff.  To be totally honest, even two years later I’m still scared that I’ll be getting a phone call telling me to drive in from Boston for my 6am stadium run.  Anyway, Shoemate who was a Super Prep All American, he could have chosen any school in the country to go to especially one that didn’t already have a standout RB in Jordan Todaman.   So why UConn? Well friends, this is where your love of FWG comes in.

Shoemate is former high school teammate of current Husky back up quarterback Johnny McEntee.  Both played together at Servite High School in Anaheim, Calif.  Johnny-Mac had been in contact with Shoemate since the NCAA sanctions, working the text messaging magic that only college students are capable of…that and..Facebook: The teens love the Facebook. J-Mac was able to act as a catalyst for showing his former teammate all that UConn has to offer, including that it can be a great home for those displaced from the Left Coast.

Shoemate may contribute at running back, but word out of Storrs is that he’ll be a contributor “wherever we can fit him.”  Apparently such a tremendous athlete, they’d like to fit him wherever there is a need (possibly even DB).  So, fans of UConn Football should you find yourself running into Johnny Mac on the mean streets of Storrs, or the famed parking lot of The Rent this fall, tell him thanks.  He’s managed to bring a great talent to the team and flip the proverbial “bird” to Lane Kiffin in the process.

Final Thoughts:
As many of you well know I’m living on Martha’s Vineyard.  Yesterday I had the pleasure of encountering a lovely Canadian woman maned “Luchia.”  When I asked Luchia where she was from, she said “Cape Breton, the island ..do you know where that is.”  Well, apparently it’s an island off the coast of Nova Scotia (Thanks Google!).  Of course at the time, sitting on that bench in Edgartown I had no idea, so I replied as such.  She let out an uncommon chuckle of disdain and hilarity for a woman of her age (75…I asked). “Well then, you’re DEFINITELY American, no sense of geography at all. My island is much more beautiful than this, we have mountains”    I was dumbfounded and insulted.  So I replied,  “how big is your island?”  To which she said, “Oh I don’t know, much bigger than this I suppose”
Well at that point, I’d had it.  So replied “Typical Canadian.  No sense of geography.  Martha’s Vineyard is 20 miles long by 10 miles wide…”

Well, Luchia pretty much vowed never to return to the U.S. ever again, and I’m pretty much okay with that.  If it takes one insulting lesson in geography to keep the Canadians away then I think I’ve done my part.

Lebron To Miami: “My mom told me I could leave and it wouldn’t be selfish.”

// July 9th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Jim Gray:  Why did you leave Cleveland?

Lebron: ”Well I never wanted to leave.   In a perfect world I would have loved to stay,but the logisitics of it all.    I’ve done so many great things for Cleveland and everybody who knows me knows I’m so loyal that I had to go.    But Cleveland knows they are still #1 in my heart.  So I didn’t really leave Cleveland.  I still love Akron.   I was great from the ages of 18-25 and took the franchise to heights they’ve never seen.   Now it’s time for me to be great in Miami.   My mom told me I could leave and it wouldn’t be selfish. ”

[BarstoolSports]

Well that got awkward really quick.  LeBron abandons the Cavs and in the process tell them “I’ve made you better than you ever were, now I’m gone….my mom says it’s not selfish”  Well kids, that’s what I’m calling the “Cleveland Shuffle” from now on.  The “I’m going because I’m going” defense.  or as Lebron put it, “I’m so loyal, I had to go…” Excuse me sir? Sir, that makes zero sense, sir.

Travels with The Rook: Running with Team USA

// July 8th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Arriba.  Not that I’m a world traveler, but I get around.  Couldn’t quite get around to Running of the Bulls this year although managed to make it to an equally exhilarating locale, fleeing from testosterone-filled beasts: the USA Men’s Lacrosse Team Camp.

Worked out this morning with my trainer (that’s right Rook’s got brains, boobs and a bod) and she was dishing the goods on America’s ‘next greatest past time’.  Now.  Football, baseball and Tiger Woods will never be replaced, but give lacrosse its dues.  By six degrees of separation, I totally have an in with Team USA…

[laxmagazine.com]

Pretty cuh-raaazy right???  Eh, look at it this way: no spandex. no vuvuzelas. no Justin Bieber.  Fact: the only ones truly interested in that locker room panoramic are me and Justin Bieber anyways.  If you were lucky it’d be a pic of my locker room.

It’s like hockey got busy with football and out popped out an army of pure adrenaline rush for the summer.  About effing time.  America was getting spoiled between the Williams sisters at Wimbledon and Armstrong’s spandex wedgie in Tour de France.

By the way, #25 Chris Schiller [his locker pictured above], is my trainer’s brother.  So like two degrees of separation?  Apparently he’s “Old, Bald, and Underrated” - translation: Charles Barkley playing on a team of Carmelo Anthonys…he’s no joke.  Maybe it was the all out family pride or counting mad reps, but if you ask me (ahem, my trainer) the whole sport is severely underrated.

Team USA plays MLL All-Stars tonight at 7pm on ESPN2.  Then to England next week for the World Championships.  By six degrees of separation, I’ll be there too.  Maybe follow-up with video highlights? Probably not.

USA All The Way.

Head Coach Brian Kelly Gives A Humble Interview: “Every Place I Go I Make Better”

// July 6th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Uconn, Uncategorized

[Rivals]

I respect swagger, I really do.  But this is some grade-a spin right here (I expect nothing less from the son of a politician).  He give no credit to his players, no credit to his support staff, its all “me, me, me”  Going a step further, Kelly has no problem glossing over the fact that he abandoned his team after they went 12-0, refusing to coach in their bowl game thus leaving them high and dry.  All this was after he held a team meeting to tell his players he would not be taking the job at the Notre Dame
You may be able to fool the hordes of blind-Notre-Dame-faithful but I have a feeling that the fans on Cincinnati football (including me)  have a different view on the Kelly era:  He raised a program up, only to abandon them in the national spotlight.

The Rook’s Smack Down Tuesday

// July 6th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

“But over the last two months, Braden has tried to put it behind him, and he said he was angry with the Athletics’ marketing department for not consulting with him — and for using his silhouette — before creating the T-shirts… ‘This is baseball; you don’t ever put two guys against each other, no matter how fun-loving or severe the incident might be,’ Braden said Monday. ‘You don’t do that.’” [NYTimes.com]

And since when did Dallas Braden become the baseball buff on ‘unwritten rules’ of the game?  Let’s call a spade a spade.  With the whole get-off-my-mound bit to begin with, now condemning the A’s for their excellent choice in marketing strategies.  For shame.  Baseball, the hype and the history, is built on that stuff…The Curse of the Great Bambino, anyone?  P.S. Braden - they pay you to play, because you can.  After you’re done sulking about the 8 starting losses you’ve had since your perfect game back in May, give Terry Hogan a call.  He’s suing Post for misrepresentation.

Maybe some one who used to run around in spandex body suits (we all know how I feel about spandex), fake-slamming other sweaty dudes into the ground and the star of his own MTV reality show, could give Braden a little perspective on the biz.  Side note:  I love cereal.

Your Fat White Guy Moment Of The Week: Tour de France Edition

// July 6th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

NEW YORK — A fitness guru says pizza is the key to getting an athlete’s physique.
Matt McClellan says pizza fueled his 1300 mile bike tour through 22 cities over the past 30 days.
By eating one slice of pizza every three hours, he lost 24 pounds and 5 inches in his waist.
McClellan adds the key to the pizza diet is portion control and exercise.

I figured I’d post this for all the hopeful fatties out there.  You too can lose weight by eatin gpizza, as long as your burning 10,000 calories a day.  So you know, one step forward-two steps back kinda-thing.

Thanks to Alex for the tip.

I’m Sorry, I’ve Been Slacking, But Here’s What We’ve Missed

// July 6th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

When FWG takes a day, or days, or a week off from serious blogging the children suffer (and the terrorists win).  I had nothing for you on the Fourth of July (my favorite holiday) and now I’ve completely been out of touch with our biggest demographic: Overweight, patriotic Americans.

So here is what you’ve  (I’ve) missed:

The Japanese eating sensation apparently crashed the kingdom he once ruled.  Joey Chestnut is just winning the war of the mind right now.

Jamarcus Russell was arrested for possession of a controlled substance: Codeine cough syrup.  Which everyone (should) know is used to make “Purple Drank”

Eating My Way Through Martha’s Vineyard: Part II - Oyster Club

// July 2nd, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Martha’s Vineyard is an eclectic collection, a beautiful harmony of mismatched people, clothes, and cultures.  The American melting pot personified on the streets and in the restaurants.  So when the island tourist or local is found wandering the streets of say, Circuit Avenue in search of a dining delight, it should come as no surprise when you stumble upon the Oyster Bar, seemingly  ripped from the crowded streets of New York City, out of place but certainly at home on Martha’s Vineyard.

Arguably the vineyards best raw bar, the chic interior just screams New York City but the service staff, educated and endearing remind you that yes you are still on the island, and you’ll be in good hands for the duration of your gastronomic endeavor.

My endeavor started with asking my waiter what wine would be good, to which he suggested a deep red, Cabernet Sauvignon.  Typically a beer guy and intimidated by anything that lists prices by the glass or bottle, I found my waiter’s knowledge and confidence refreshing.

Eating at Oyster Bar, by the large picture windows perfect for people watching (practically a national pastime here on the Vineyard) was also the time I took the opportunity to enjoy six oysters on a half shell.  You can choose any number of oysters, but I went local with fresh Oysters from Katama.  In a world of processed and pre-packaged, eating something from the waters which just earlier that day I was happily swimming is an distinctly unfamiliar, yet excellent feeling.  The fruits of the local waters did not disappoint.  Arguably the highlight of my meal, the fresh raw oysters were perfectly complimented by a dollop of horseradish and a sprits of lemon.

My entrée was a filet mignon, well prepared by their competent chef, Abraham.  I asked Abraham his last name, he replied, “just Abraham.”  Normally I’d be uncomfortable with single-naming someone, grouping him with the likes of Madonna or Cher or The Situation, but when one of the managers explains “We are so very lucky to have [Abraham]…this place wouldn’t be the same without him” he has definitely earned such an honor.

At the encouragement of my server, I also ordered a side of lobster macaroni and cheese and the locally grown asparagus.  The lobster macaroni and cheese was deep and rich and not for the faint of heart of calorie conscious.  Which large lobster claws and shaving of parmesan cheese it is an indulgence you’ll only find here on the Vineyard.  The asparagus was fresh and well prepared; an excellent complement to the tender filet I was still enjoying.

I closed out the night by ordering an espresso and a chocolate lava cake.  I figured that, having already eaten more than my share of rich lobster macaroni and cheese, steak, and oysters I’d have to indulge in an even richer dessert.  Too many bad meals had left me jade; believing my entrée would not be outdone by my dessert.  I was wrong.  Dessert was excellent and the espresso just the caffeine boost I needed to get me out of my booth and back onto Circuit Avenue.

I left Oyster Bar another satisfied patron, ready to return another day for great atmosphere and good dining.

Of course, cats and soccer.

// July 1st, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

If it hasn’t been blatantly apparent after the past month allow me to spell it out: we here don’t take too kindly to futbol or felines.  At least we know this video’s got FWG is seizing with…delight.

When all we have to look forward to is the Tour de France and World Cup, summer hits a plateau.  What would we do without Conan O’Brien picking Twitter fights with Lance Armstrong?  But really, what would we do without such loyal and creative readers, sending their clever, ironic viral videos our way?  Everybody’s a comedian in the off-season.

Thanks Hanks for the tip.