Groupie Karen F. Owen Does Power Point On Duke Athlete’s Sexual Prowess UPDATE!

// September 30th, 2010 // 6 Comments » // Uncategorized

An avid FWG-er emailed me this today.  All of the names of “evaluated” athletes check out, and as far as the supposed author, Karen F. Owen all that could be seen on the interweb was a recently deleted (deactivated?) Linkedin account.  Anyway, this girl evaluates each athlete (names are authentic) on a scale of 1 to 10, including pro’s and cons.

Not to mention sophomoric drop-in’s like “he had a great body…” and “a grower, not a show-er.”   The full slides are below, enjoy another shining moment for Duke Athletics.  Full Gallery Below

UPDATE:
She is the brunette on the left apparently.

It’s Password Wednesday: Beautiful Baby Edition

// September 29th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

I won’t lie, I had no idea FWG was popular with the pretty-girl set.  Sure I was able to trick my girlfriend through creative blogging, but check out the babes dominating the shit out of password Wednesday at Ted’s Bar in Storrs.   This weekend is UConn’s homecoming and I’ll be there Friday night kicking it at Ted’s.  Where will I be staying? I plan on doing the classy thing and showing up at my old apartment, forcing entry, and making myself comfortable on the couch.  If questioned by tenants/police investigators I’ll simply invoke the “This is the house that Lunn” built rule, and be on my way.
But that’s Friday and today is Wednesday—karaoke night—so get to Ted’s early, use the password HANGOVER and enjoy free cover and few drinks on your drain-on-society-clinging-to-self-promotion-blogger.

The Rook Presents: I’ve said too much

// September 28th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Little Ike Ditzenberger from Snohomish WA, who has Down syndrome, got to run for a 51-yard touchdown in a live varsity game with his team. Aww!

No matter what, I’m going to sound like a straight up, stuck up bitch after a video like this.

However.

No matter what I say after a video like this, between the kankles, chins, ‘f*ck a 5′ comment, or the fact that Chile and Haiti have been plagued by catastrophic earthquakes earlier this year, I’ve already said too much.

…pregnant or ham sandwich?

Wake Up! Libby From Kentucky Is An FWG Fan, And Needs Some Votes

// September 27th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

When a pretty girl asks you for something, you pretty much have to do it.  Which is why I now have two dogs, live with my girlfriend, and wear v-neck shirts.  So, short and sweet: this is Libby Cummins, one of the nicest people you’ll ever have the pleasure of meeting.  Incidentally, she also happens to fall into the previously mentioned “pretty girl” scenario. Check out her photos, cast a vote, and count it as today’s (self serving) good deed.

That is all.

The Rook Presents: A+ Allstar Night Out

// September 24th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Bruins v. Panthers…preseason match.  If a great opportunity falls into your lap, you’re not just gonna ignore it - which is why I still don’t believe that Tim Tebow is all that pure.  Yeah, I said it.

My roommate gets tickets madd cheap (I don’t ask questions) so we got the girls together for a night out and preseason puck.  You know.  Get all cute but not too overdone.  After all it’s only a hockey game, but after all we are only looking to each bag an NHL starter.

There was no disclaimer about $7 brews, the fact that Chara looks like some busted neolithic mime, that the most exciting fight would be between me and a fat sweaty usher, or we’d be seeing our high school math teacher who is now the “HOT DOGS!…BEER!…PEANUTS!” guy.

Since Ted’s is, ohhh a state or so away, we need a better season seats…aka sports bar to crash.

But! My roommate also has access to Buffalo Sabres season tickets (I still don’t ask questions).  At least we now know to: bring a flask, prep photo-roster for reference, and bring chairs to stake out the team buses afterward.

Random thought:

…not sure where i was going with that.

UConn Linebacker Scott Lutrus Recovering Well: Video Evidence

// September 24th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Boop.

Get Me This Jacket Now!

// September 24th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

[GLOCKstore.com] Now you can have it all, the style and the concealment. The jean jacket is a classic…every man should own one. We’ve improved it for your pleasure. It features two large concealment pockets that are added to a name brand jean jacket. The pockets are hidden so no one will ever know. They’re large enough to hold a full-size wallet, important papers, cash and other valuables, even a small to medium size handgun. The pockets are zipped closed for added convenience and security. A classic look comes to life in this unique Concealment Jean Jacket.

I’m not sure what I love more; that there is a jean jacket that conceals my weapon with style, or that this “model” is totally fine sporting the Canadian Tuxedo (denim-on-denim, kid).  Either way, the Miami Vice facial hair/hair cut makes this thing the total package.  So I say, get me this jacket now!

Thanks to Matt for the tip.

Is It Bad That I’m Incredibly Jealous Of The Guy That Can Throw Cards Like Gambit?

// September 24th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

I remember way back in 1998 my grandfather getting all pissed off because I used all of his brand new decks of cards in one (of several) attempts to throw cards like the kids from that MTV “True-Life: I’m a card thrower.”  Then I realized, wait a second…I play sports, I’m not a weirdo goth kid, shape up. But here this young Asian fellow is, over a decade later making me wish I’d stuck with my promising career in card throwing.  Wrong time, wrong place I guess—back then there was no YouTube, and I didn’t have access to digital photography or a roof-top staging area.  Probably go down as one of my greatest regrets.
How To Throw Cards Like Gambit - Watch more Funny Videos

Wake Up! Greetings From Omaha, Nebraska (Rosenblatt Stadium)

// September 24th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Well said, Hal.  Well said.

Wake Up! FWG Bringing You Free Cover At Ted’s

// September 22nd, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

I’m heading out to Omaha, Nebraska as part of my current pursuits with ESPN Radio, so we’ve been a little light on the blogging this week as a result.  So there I was this morning, lathering Lever 2000, when it hit me “There…are….sober college kids…out there today” and by sober college kids, I mean a couple of dudes who really need Wednesday night Karaoke at Ted’s in order to get laid.  So, this one is for you.  The deal is the same as last week : Give the password at the door, free cover/drinks on FWG.  Boom.  This week’s password is “BROADWAY”  Password works for 10 people, so hurry.

And as an added bonus, send your pictures to THEFATWHITEGUYatGMAIL.COM and if I feature them on the blog, free FWG T Shirt.  You can’t lose.