Archive for November, 2010

Getting Sacked: Brought To You By ComfySacks.com The Best Bean Bag Chairs

// November 29th, 2010 // 6 Comments » // Uncategorized

See this is what I love about blogging.  I go all out in developing features, securing sponsors, consulting with our team of sales persons/marketing experts/writers (synergy, dynamic, revenue stream, real dollars, other buzz words). And we come up with a  Monday feature about the best “sacks” from the weekend (don’t get too excited, Brett, we mean on-the-field-sacks).  Dynamite idea, Rob: Pair up the worlds best bean bag chairs with a sports phenomenon and BOOM! Instant blogging gold.

Then Andre Johnson decides he’s going to pull this (awesome) stunt, and here we are being bested by the unpredictable.  Two grown men going to fisticuffs and thus making for some of the best highlight material this season.  So while I would have like to lead with Big Ben getting absolutely demolished by the Bills’ defense, this will just have to do.

So anyway, at this point you’re probably asking yourself, “What are Comfy Sacks.”  Well friend, allow me to enlighten you.  As a fat blogging genius, former athlete, and amateur tofu-artist I find myself wiped at the end of these tumultuous days.  Surfing the internet for viral videos is the Lord’s work, but exhausting non-the-less.  So when a blogging colleague of mine told me he had purchases a Comfy Sack (aka an amazing high end/high quality bean bag) and it was the solution to my long days and sleepless nights I had to try one.

I’ll skip the fluff (pun intended) and get straight to the point.  I LITERALLY haven’t left this chair since it arrived, except for a short stint in Europe/the Caribbean.  Like a jack in the box it arrived compressed to the size of a small television, and then expanded to fill the FWG offices.  Where it was removed for fear of interns enjoying it to much, and taken to my home where I then slept on it for 5 days.  It’s like getting nestled in your very own cloud.  I put mine in our screening room and watching movies has never been better, or more comfortable.  Even watching the girlfriend’s shitty Rom-Com’s has been tolerable.

Possibly the most ringing endorsement for Comfy Sacks might be coming from my four-legged friend, Cooper.  A dog that doesn’t like walking on tile and will bark at blankets if they aren’t folded to her liking (and thus not suitable for dog naps).  The minute I get up for nourishment this is what I return to:comfy-sack-bean-bag-chairs It’s the holiday season, which means football, overeating, and maximizing down time.  I realize that Comfy Sacks are the official Bean Bag of Apple (and Steve Job’s Turtlenecks) but it is also the official sitting device of lazy Sunday’s, movie rooms, and FWG Headquarters.  I’m making my holiday must-buy recommendation now:  Comfy Sacks (FWG Approved!)

OK Sooners “run and tell that, homeboy.”

// November 29th, 2010 // 3 Comments » // Uncategorized

Sooner Fans via News OK

Sooner Fans via News OK

[Kansas City Star - Sat, Nov. 27, 2010] - 14th-ranked Oklahoma outlasted No. 10 Oklahoma State, 47-41, in a Bedlam Battle classic.

The Sooners (10-2, 6-2 Big 12) held a 33-24 lead with a little under six minutes to play in a contest that was, to that point, already entertaining.

But the teams used a series of big plays to rack up the points and provide a frenetic finish. Jones connected with Cameron Kenney on an 86-yard touchdown and later found James Hanna for a 76-yard strike to help Oklahoma stay one step ahead and hold on for the victory — its eighth in a row over Oklahoma State (10-2, 6-2).

“I’ve never felt like that. I was having an anxiety attack,” said Oklahoma linebacker Travis Lewis. “I was just so pumped up and was like ‘Oh my goodness, who’s gonna make the play? Who’s gonna make the play?’ We made enough plays to win tonight.”

By Saturday, absolutely in the throes of the Thanksgiving holiday…I was totally over homemade pie, sick of relatives asking me what I’m doing with my life, and just the thought of football was enough to make me cancel cable.

My entire family was ready to get our couch-coma on when the Midwest drove it home.  Sooners, Cowboys - both teams were on freaking point.  And when it comes down to the wire like that, you’re usually waiting for one team to crap the bed or drop a TD pass in the end-zone during overtime…(*cough* Buffalo Bills’ Steve Johnson *cough*).  BAM!  Bedlam Battle 2010.

The Cowboys made a lights-out interception late into the 2nd quarter - watch the replay (at 0:42 sec) to see Sooners’ Broyles get the lights-out.  Figuring that would carry them through half-time to overpower their state sharing rivals.  But the Sooners were able to grind it out.  That’s college ball.

Oklahoma State’s cirque-de-soleil catch not enough for the win, but it’s still really awesome:

- The Rook

Wake Up! The Rook Presents: Wednesday Quick Hits

// November 24th, 2010 // 4 Comments » // Uncategorized

brett-favre

Turkey Classic:  Thanksgiving =  Food and football.  The Warm-Up:  New England Patriots @ Detroit Lions.  Main Course:  New Orleans Saints @ Dallas Cowboys.  Second Helpings, just in time for your stuffing coma:  Cincinnati Bengals @ New York Jets.  Stay tuned to FWG NFL for game day breakdowns and the pick ‘ems.

Smell That?  Overtime [Sports Illustrated]:  In 7 overtimes, Skidmore beats Southern Vermont 128-123 - longest game in D-III history.  Lasting seven overtimes?  Yeah right.  Just the thought of making it through 10am on Black Friday is giving me anxiety.

Mike Vick is an enigma [Philadelphia Inquirer]:  “Teacher says, every time a bell rings, an angel…” - or was it, every time Vick gets a second chance he takes cake to the face and gets a Sports Illustrated cover.  Maybe it’s true what they say about all dogs going to heaven.

the-fighter-movie-poster

Fight the Beat [Hollywood Reporter]:  …you know that Jessica Simpson has been licking her chops for Turkey day.  But that’s a different story. Ladies…can I get an AMEN?  “Marky Mark” Wahlberg’s newest motion picture, “The Fighter”, hits theaters in December.  Oh yeah, and Christian Bale.  (trailer)…let me clarify. Marky Mark and Christian Bale:

bale-wahlberg

Wherever you spend Thanksgiving, we here at FWG cheers you.  Surround yourself with family, good food, and some Friends.

Hal: Finish the Jeter Deal

// November 23rd, 2010 // 8 Comments » // Uncategorized

Jeter is talking contracts...with this guy, Hal Steinbrenner. Cheers in advance to the deal getting done swiftly.

Jeter is talking contracts...with this guy, Hal Steinbrenner. Cheers in advance to the deal getting done swiftly.

So I’ve been thinking about the Yankees a little bit here. Relax, I know it’s football season - and college basketball is starting to heat up. So just bare with me for a second. But, what in the world are the Yankees thinking delaying the deal with Derek Jeter. I mean, honestly. The dude is the 2010 Babe Ruth for crying out loud. His batting average dropped…significantly. Relax Sox fans, you know what I mean. His on base percentage dropped, significantly. But, it’s still Derek Jeter. I don’t know - call me crazy. He is a franchise player - he’ll finish with the Yankees. But, figure it out already. If this continues to linger over the offseason - it could end up being a rough way to begin the Hal Steinbrenner era. Even Jeter’s agent has called it “baffling.” Get it done, without conflict.

Speaking of conflict - I sat at home last night and watched the Giants get squeezed by the Eagles. What was Manning thinking? Anyway, my mom comes up to me during the game - tells me to switch the load of laundry and to start folding the clothes in the dryer. Not a difficult task - but I have no interest. So, I don’t do it. I wake up the next morning and sure enough I need the damn jeans that are wet in the washer. Not enough time to dry them - done deal.

Eagles Giants Football

Rule #1 Listen to your mother
Rule #2 Use LifeWithoutLaundry

The damn laundry would have been done and I wouldn’t of had to wear the jeans I had worn over the weekend - yeah - the ones that had beer all over them. I’ll explain that another day. Check it out though - Life Without Laundry.

laundry

Ahh, wouldn’t that be nice? No interruptions during the game… and no conflicts in the morning. PERFECT! The promo code FWGRULES gets you 10% off. Please, thank us later.

Wake Up! And watch Seymour blast Roethlisberger

// November 22nd, 2010 // 6 Comments » // Uncategorized

Nov 11, 2010 Big Ben to have easier day: Pittsburgh QB Ben Roethlisberger is going to have an easier time on Sunday of Week 11 against the Raiders. [CBS Sports]

…Yeah?  How’d that prediction pan out?

College co-eds don’t pack a punch like Seymour, eh Big Ben?  He just turns around and it’s ’say good night.’  The Raiders’ mind-numbing loss (35-3) is already history.  Give that man the golden glove award.

PS:  Good job America.  I thought we were over the Bieber Fever.  An “AMA Breakthrough Artist” award - really?

Russell Brand is ready to slip this bitch a Jeffrey.

Russell Brand is ready to slip his boo a Jeffrey.

So…who is funding Kovalchuk’s contract?

// November 19th, 2010 // 4 Comments » // Uncategorized

98339769JM037_New_Jersey_De

Martin Brodeur #30, Devils' Goalie

November 11, 2010 - It’s Condition Red for the Red and Black. The $100 million man’s [Ilya Kovalchuk] fatal fumble is the astounding collapse of the Devils in a nutshell.

Last night was another episode of the Demise of the Devils. Unable to beat the second-worst team in the league, they remain its very worst.

It took some doing to break the team record for longest-ever winless home start, considering how awful they were in 1983-84. After last night’s 5-4 shootout loss to the Sabres, the Devils stand 0-5-2 in Newark this season, longer than the 0-6 they opened at the Meadowlands 27 years and three Cups ago. [NYPost]

Wait.  A $100-million-dollar contract.  And 4 goals this season…dude, which team are you playing for?  NJ fans got to be hating Kovalchuk’s contract so hard right now.

At (5-12-2, 12pts), pretty sure that the Devils are dead last.  Not for nothing but they have a stacked roster this season. My friend Scotty is a die-hard Devils fan.  And a goalie.  He’s had a rough go lately.  Now, I get pissed when my roommates take my hair dryer (and Genny Lights left over from last night’s tailgate)…don’t even know how Brodeur and Hedberg are holding it down in net.  Scotty knows their pain…season slipping right out from under their skates.  By that I mean “right out from under Kovalchuk’s stick”:

…you smell that??  OVERTIME.

Wake Up! With F’bombs over Burger King

// November 18th, 2010 // 3 Comments » // Uncategorized

fkyou-receipt

F-Bomb Served up at Burger King

Francisco Perez was shocked when he went through a Sacramento drive thru for a cheeseburger and saw the words F*** YOU printed out twice on his bill.

He spent $9.22 on a double Whopper with cheese, onion rings, funnel cake sticks, and a small drink during his late-night food run. [Fox News]

Okay, that’s awesome. I worked at a fast food establishment for five years. I could barely cash out a $2 transaction without shorting something.  Looks like ‘Armand the Cashier’ is severely overqualified for burgers-and-buns to have cracked the cash register code.  Where was Armand when we were planning our senior prank?

I’m actually more offended that this guy wanted his Double Whooper cut in half.  Seriously, wtf is that.  The King was totally calling him out.

OM NOM NOM

btw…what the hell is a funnel cake stick??

- The Rook

It’s true love for Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson

// November 17th, 2010 // 5 Comments » // Uncategorized

jessica-simpson-engagement-ringSources confirm to UsMagazine.com that the singer, 30, became engaged to beau Eric Johnson on Thursday, just days after Us broke the news that her ex-husband, Nick Lachey, popped the question to Vanessa Minnillo, his love of nearly five years. Simpson and Lachey, 37, split in 2005, after three years of marriage. [MSNBC]

So just before she hits age 30, Jessica Simpson gains a fiance. And like thirty bills (yeah, yeah act like you didn’t notice)…at least we know this time it’s true love, right? Because if your guy can watch you slam buckets of  “sorry I don’t eat buffalo” wings til you look like you’ve applied lip plumper to your entire body, then it’s love.  Fa’sho.

Way to become the icon for every uber-feminist ever.  While the rest of us get our P90 on at 5am, treat yourself to another muffin top with a tall glass of “my man loves me for my personality”..

I’m all for working with what you got.  But if I have this:

jessica_simpson

…then you bet your daisy dukes that I’m hustling every. day. on the treadmill until my lungs bleed.

xoxo - The Rook

It Is Password Wednesday: From An IPad

// November 17th, 2010 // 5 Comments » // Uncategorized

I wish i could make is post longer but I’m on the road, keeping it real with my iPad. And by real I mean I’m now one of “those guys” with my pretty new toy.
If i could figure out how to put up pictures you know I would. Especially since the ones from last weeks password were sweet, semi nude.
So in the theme of keeping this short, tonights password is……

“Old McDonald” as in the owner of Teds bar at UConn.
as always it’s free cover and drinks, courtesy of FWG

The Rook Presents: Civilization likes football more. Who’s laughing now, JK Rowling?

// November 17th, 2010 // 8 Comments » // Uncategorized

DIGIPIX

Quidditch World Cup 2010: NYC

Muggles from across the United States and Canada gathered Saturday and Sunday for the fourth annual Quidditch World Cup, competing for victory at the highest-level competition of the no-longer-fictional sport. In its first World Cup showing, Yale finished in the top 16 out of 46 teams participating, while Middlebury beat Tufts in the finals, winning the championship for the fourth year in a row. [Yale Daily News]

My Dunkin Donuts manager will vouch for me: I’m really good with broomsticks.

Really though?  Really.  Looks a lot like the perfect game for a Dunkin Donuts employee of the month or the last kid picked for kickball…[insert Marco-Polo-and-blind-kids joke here]. Yale and Harvard would have Quidditch teams. *vom*

Do you think that JK Rowling is laughing it up at the thought of these collegiate intellects running around with brooms in their crotches?

Seriously, 46 universities train up teams for this.  She’s probably checking on the Quidditch World Cup 2010 write-ups in the Daily Prophet at this very moment…by that I mean: sitting up some royal chateau, wiping her rear end with the madd monies of her Harry Potter fortune and sneezing gold coins out her nose.

Would you rather have a broomstick rocking your goods or at least a helmet between you and that linebacker?  Suckers.

Laugh it up Chuckles, cuz for 49-ers v. Broncos game in London this year, The first sale of tickets happened in May and all 45,000 sold out in 90 minutes, with the second phase of 15,000 selling out in just 30 minutes during June.

Ugh…right?  But here’s a video to cheer you up.  Kid takes soccer ball to the face.  And falls to the ground like he got hit with a frying pan. Hard.  I want some broomstick-to-face bloopers next.  Find me some.  Please.

Trick Soccer Throw-In Destroys Kid - Watch more Funny Videos