Women Chalk Up Another “W” In The Fight For Equal Rights

// October 23rd, 2009 // No Comments » // Rob Lunn, Uncategorized

“You can use LadyBag while standing, sitting or squatting.
“The design of the oval opening is perfect for female anatomy and assures safe and hygienic use.
“The super-absorbers, special granules within quickly absorb the urine and trap it inside.”

For more than a few years now I’ve been maligned by friends and family for making the 6 hour trip from Rochester to Boston without stopping to pee.  Maybe because they found out the secret to my iron-man like road trip was not a bear trap bladder, but actually my hidden talent to pee into water/Gatorade/soda bottles while on cruise control.  Most of the disdain came from my sister/girlfriend who thought it was “gross.”  I think we all know what “gross” means to women….jealousy that they can’t do it themselves, its an anatomical impossibility.  Well, not anymore ladies.  Place your orders now for “The Lady Bag” (made in Germany….of course).  Those crazy krauts have done it again:  striking a big victory for women’s rights.

Side Note:

Word is the “Diaper Astronaut Lady” is all over this one.

DAS LADY BAG! [LadyBag.de]

Mobile Toilets For Your HandBag [NewLite]

Hat-Tip:  WalkonBoy.com

I Believe They Call This Getting “Poned!”

// September 18th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // Rob Lunn, Uncategorized

If ever there was a definition for Poned. (or if you are with me and just realized that was a word/phrase commonly used on this thing here we call “The Internet”)  I think that this is it.  The Buffalo News did a story on the lack of a story after Terrell Owen’s first game (excerpt below).  Although for me (and now you reading this) the real story is the commenters after the article hit the web.  This is EXACTLY why the Buffalo News needs comment ninjas.  The definition of PONED:

Buffalo News:

Sullivan: As a leader T.O. dropped the ball

When the Bills signed Terrell Owens, we were told he would be a leader for a young team, a better teammate than we realized, a star who would bring some straight talk and swagger to the locker room.

So I had looked forward to hearing T.O. speak after his first real game as a Bill. And after Monday night’s 25-24 loss to the Patriots, a lot of the media were eager to hear what the iconic receiver would say, what comforting words he would offer to his team and fans.

The answer was nothing. Owens pulled the old silent act after Buffalo blew a late 11-point lead in New England. He took a pass. This article is the gold-standard example as to why 50% of newspaper sports columnists will be waiting tables within the next 10 years. The phrases “beating a dead horse”, “tunnel vision” and “dude, grow up” all apply here. [See: steroids.] Sportswriters have become disconnected with their readership on a level that rivals the relationship between politicians and their constituents. The case of T.O. is the most glaring example. For some reason, Sullivan (along with every other sportswriter in America) has decided to assume the role of moral-highroader/paper evangelist, coming to the conclusion that not only do readers need ANOTHER Terrell Owens’ story, but they are also the only ones smart enough to interpret his actions/non-actions for us. In the process, they reveal the very same self-important, opportunistic qualities that they pretend to rally against during their anti-T.O.-ramblings. Give it up Jerry. Seriously. When will guys like Sullivan realize that their readers know their true motive: self-promotional, big-name piggybacking. Most likely at the same time they realize that they need to start updating their resumes. Kind you can’t drop.

“You’re wasting your time,” Owens told a horde of reporters at his locker. “I have nothing to say.”

Perhaps T.O. concluded it wasn’t in his self-interest to speak. Maybe he had to clear it with those two female advisers, to make certain it didn’t compromise his well-crafted public image.  [the rest here]

Ponage:

This article is the gold-standard example as to why 50% of newspaper sports columnists will be waiting tables within the next 10 years. The phrases “beating a dead horse”, “tunnel vision” and “dude, grow up” all apply here. [See: steroids.] Sportswriters have become disconnected with their readerership on a level that rivals the relationship between politicians and their constituents. The case of T.O. is the most glaring example. For some reason, Sullivan (along with every other sportswriter in America) has decided to assume the role of moral-highroader/paper evangelist, coming to the conclusion that not only do readers need ANOTHER Terrell Owens’ story, but they are also the only ones smart enough to interpret his actions/non-actions for us. In the process, they reveal the very same self-important, opportunistic qualities that they pretend to rally against during their anti-T.O.-ramblings. Give it up Jerry. Seriously. When will guys like Sullivan realize that their readers know their true motive: self-promotional, big-name piggybacking. Most likely at the same time they realize that they need to start updating their resumes.

Well, score one for the bloggers commenters.

Buffalo Columnist Outraged By T.O.’s Good Behavior [Deadspin]

As a leader, T.O dropped the ball [The Buffalo News]

Merriman: “Yeah, the TV show was THAT bad….”

// September 8th, 2009 // No Comments » // Rob Lunn, Uncategorized

I’m going to be the first to tell you that on Sunday when the story broke about Chargers LB Sean Merriman being accused of choking and restraining his girlfriend, Tila Tequila (see above clip), I was appalled, “Sean Merriman dates Tila Tequila??”  What the hell? Why didn’t I know about this earlier?

It was like my world was shattered.  The worst reality TV star on the planet dates one of the NFL’s best linebackers?  I considered this for “This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse” but unfortunately.  I’m holding out for some Michael Jackson Story.

Now, I have sisters (3) and a mother (1) and I am wholeheartedly against any violence against women, but I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t laugh for a solid three minutes over this.  And part of me was a little happy, after I got sucked in to all those VH1 promos and cliff hanger—only to wake up hours later, pants less wondering what the hell had happened.

“A Shot at Love III: Merriman’s Revenge”

Excellent.

[Merriman: I didn't hurt Tequila] - Fox Sports

Virginia Week. And all I want is some ham.

// September 12th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // Cavaliers football, Rentschler Field, Rob Lunn, UConn Virginia, UVa Uconn football cavaliers, uconn football

It’s Virginia week. Meaning it’s our first match up with another BCS Conference. Sorry to disappoint, but no–Hofstra is NOT a BCS team. Neither are those pudding pushers from Temple (okay, last Cosby reference, I swear). Anyway, with those games already in the record books, I guess I can be more candid than I would be in the days leading up to playing an opponent. Playing UVa will be the first real test for our program. Temple and Hofstra were not high caliber teams (though Temple is showing that it’s one of the better teams in the MAC).

UVa always had an NFL-sized offensive line, and it’s no wonder why two guys were drafted off their front five last year. Not to mention tight end Tom Santi who was taken by the Colts. This year their starting left tackle Eugene Monroe is something like number five on Kiper’s Big Board. But if you’ve read this blog you know how I generally feel about those ESPN prognosticators. But he is a native of Plainfield, New Jersey–played high school ball with my boy, Dan Davis.
And regardless of Monroe’s five stars coming out of high school and the millions of accolades bestowed upon him, the “eye-in-the-sky” don’t lie. Eugene Monroe is legit.

UVa has a storied program and a lot of tradition in football excellence, and this year is no exception. Don’t be fooled by the show that USC put on in week one. USC has superior athletic beings, and Pete Carroll has the easiest job in college football.

Ever asked Pete Carroll what his defensive scheme is? At USC they play “thiscat-thatcat” defense. Let me break down this complicated schematic for you—you take the 11 best defensive-minded athletes in the country, put them in white and crimson, and tell them to go cover “This Cat over here and That Cat over there.” Real defense is when you take a bunch of mediocre athletes, instill a sense of unquestionable pride and sacrifice, and turn them loose on opposing teams. (Thanks, Todd Orlando and Hank Hughes.) But again, I digress. Back to UVa.

Their starting QB won’t travel because he doesn’t want to be a distraction, in order to help his team win. So their starter wont travel, so that he can help them win? This sort of logic only found south of the Mason-Dixon, folks.

But really, don’t let this country-fried thinking fool you. This team will come to play, and Friday night at the ‘Rent it’s gonna be a grudge-match slug-fest. The fans will certainly get their money’s worth.

So the only thing that might make this Blog worth reading is that I can perhaps offer some perspective on college football otherwise not available. (Well, that, and I am getting graded on this for class–who says the American Education system is failing? C’mon, it came down to this class or advanced water-ballooning.)

Virginia week practice was only slightly different than past weeks; I think Coach Edsall is becoming more aware of the grind that a 15-week college football season can take on his players, and is scripting practice accordingly. I say 15 weeks, because don’t let anyone fool you–the “bye week” is a complete myth, or at least in Storrs it is. For that one week it’s like training camp has been reopened (click here for my thoughts on that).

All in all, Virginia is a tough opponent with great recruits and great players. Should be a great test to see the direction of our team this season.

Some final thoughts:

I gotta say I absolutely adore the Connecticut Football Fans. You really are some of the best in the country. I’m just begging you, PLEASE, stay ’til the end of the game. We DO notice that on the field (or at least I’m too ADHD not to). You are probably the best part of my experience here in CT. I mean, what do they have to experience in Virginia that’s better than in Connecticut?
Virginia Ham, Virginia Coalition, and “Virginia is for Lovers”? Bullcrap. I love Connecticut. We have the Whalers (well, we used to), UConn Football, and fall-foliage tours. Take THAT rednecks!

Please download the following songs: “Rescue Me,” by The Alarm; “Mrs. Washington,” by Gigolo Aunts; and “The Best You Ever Had,” by Hot Rod Circuit. Enjoy.

Prayers to Alex Lamags on a speedy recovery. If you ever wanted to know what it felt like to laugh and have your shoulder pop out, just ask ‘Mags, but don’t tell him I sent you.

Congrats to Darius Butler on having a beautiful baby girl, “Maya.” Consensus on the team is that she is already taller than Larry Taylor and Robert “Reggie” McClain.

Justice Will Be Served

// September 8th, 2008 // 3 Comments » // Blog Justice Temple, Justice, Rob Lunn, Uconn, Uconn Temple, Uconn Temple Justice

It’s two days removed from the Temple game, and I think since everyone is offering their perspective on what happened last year, the media campaign that Temple ran, and this year’s game played in a monsoon, it’s time for an actual player to explain what happened.

Let me start by saying that last year, the referees got the call RIGHT. There was a referee not 5 yards from the play in question. Even though video replay shows that he got his foot in bounds, he clearly did not have control of the ball as he exited through the end zone. But like the face that launched a thousand ships, this was the play that launched a stupid media campaign (complete with billboards, poor quality YouTube videos, and Jello Pudding Pops–here’s lookin’ at you, Temple’s most famous graduate).

The slogan became “JUSTICE.” As in, justice will be served, the wrongs will be righted, and somehow this one loss is the most egregious for a program that hasn’t had a winning season since 1990. There were MAC officials making the decisions (not Big East bias here). And yet they put up a billboard in downtown Philadelphia, with the word JUSTICE set over UConn and Temple football helmets. They posted YouTube videos comparing the 2007 match up to Batman battling the Joker (read: THE NIGHT IS ALWAYS DARKEST BEFORE THE DAWN…JUSTICE IS COMING). These videos were produced by the Temple video crew. It’s just incredibly disrespectful. If those clowns from Temple had lost to Penn State or USC in the same manner they wouldn’t have said boo. For one, I’m sure if they had lost to Penn State and put up such a billboard the Governor would have made them take it down in a heartbeat. That, or Joe Pa would use his superpowers to burn Temple to the ground.

It’s the same reason that when UConn beat Army in 2005, then head coach Bobby Ross issued an apology to all branches of the United States Military at home and abroad for the disgraceful loss. How was losing to UConn any different than the other 7 games Army lost that season?? Give me a break. But again, the similarities come from one thing: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. (Sorry, Aretha.) The national media hates UConn. I wouldn’t have it any other way, but you know what? Take heed Temple; you lost to the eventual 2007 Big East Champs, who went undefeated at home. Don’t start a media campaign; feel lucky to have taken the field with us. Bottom line: you lost, get over it.

Temple v. UConn 2008:
I never wondered what it would be like to play football underwater. Despite my lack of imagination I found out this past weekend. Don’t let anybody tell you different–it was pouring out there. Even worse, warm-ups were completely dry; we only got our first taste of the rain when we ran out of the tunnel to take the field. The only redeeming quality was that the temperature outside was in the high 60s to low 70s, meaning that it was only barely tolerable.
But I gotta say I love playing in the rain. It tends to even the playing field for athletically limited and genetically disabled persons such as myself. (Have you seen the title of the blog? Yeah…)

The game: Sloppy. The defense: Tremendous.

But I need to say, get off of Tyler Lorenzen! The kid is doing his best, and you know what, it’s tough playing quarterback. Add in rain and the pressure of blitzing linebackers and it’s near impossible. Am I making excuses for the guy? No. He knows he can do better and he works hard–everyday–to get better.

I loved the look on the opposing fans faces when we won. It’s some sort of sick justice (pun intended) when the students sitting behind you are yelling obscenities and assuring you that your mother is of questionable morals and then you go on to beat their team in overtime.

One Final Thought:

It is a pregame tradition of my mine to watch College Gameday before boarding the bus to go to the game. I put very little stock in what these “experts” have to say about the game, but it’s a guilty pleasure. Everyone on ESPN picked Temple to win. Corso called for “an upset in front of an empty stadium–Temple wins.” He was right about the empty stadium.

How can the folks from Bristol (only 45 minutes away) not be bigger fans of the big-time football happening in their big backyard?