So no fries with that?

// August 19th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Dear Dunkin…what kind of sick joke is this?  I gave you 5 years of my life.  After school, during summers.  Slaving myself out the drive thru window for extra tips (work the button-down, ladies, work the button-down) and wearing high rise, ankle hugging khakis.  Wanna know how many dates you don’t get with that get up?  Then you go ahead and have the new coffee bitches stir me up some blueberry iced nonsense - I definitely asked for hot hazelnut - IN A BOSTON RED SOX CUP?????  Is this worthy of an ape-shit-lady-attack-on-McDonald’s-worker-over-nuggets OR total-Jason “Mayhem”-meltdown-over-a-geek-squad-prank…decisions, decisions.

-The Rook

I Should Have Known Selling My Bronco On Craigslist Would Bring Out The Crazies

// August 19th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

[Craigslist Ad] This is a ‘86 Bronco II with only 96K miles on it. It was originally from California, so there is barely a hint of rust, and the paint is absolutely incredible.  It was a great summer truck for me (on Martha’s Vineyard…never going over 35mph) but Summer is over and it’s time to get back to the real world.  I’m asking only $3,500 for this Tan on Tan beast, with a 2” body lift.
I replaced the clutch, driveshaft, and there is a compressed air shock for the rear should you feel adventurous and want to take her on the sand (oversand pass included!)  She was burning a little oil, but we replaced the gaskets and fixed that, her power steering is great, has cruise control and all the gauges work perfectly. The more I type this, the more I’m wondering why I’m selling….(cue reminder of what blogging pays…)
Anyway, She’s a real head turner, and I hate to see her go. I’m happy to answer any and all questions, so just shoot me an email

AND THIS IS WHAT I GET:

Wake Up! With Little League Softball Redeeming Itself

// August 19th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

I’m not sure there are a lot of reasons to watch softball; It’s like baseball under water.  Which, recent studies have shown is about as much fun as cancer.  And yet this morning I saw Ashley Killebrew of the Warner Robins America rounding third and colliding with West catcher Ashton Akin.  Not only did she collide, but yes sure enough she closed lined her, like some deleted scene from Major League IV: The Girls Strike Back (no, that movie doesn’t exist….yet).  Sure both Killebrew and Akin followed up this moment by simultaneously dropping to the ground and squirming like road kill, but this is softball: unlike baseball there IS crying in softball. Bottom line, my hat is off to these two youngsters for letting their proverbial sacks drop….(slow clap)

The last reason to watch softball....just retired

FWG With Jason Page On ESPN Radio: College Football and Hot Girlfriends

// August 18th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized, wob

Talking college football, careers, and having a hot girlfriend in Hartford with Jason Page on ESPN Radio.

Is This Dog Having The Time Of His Life, Or What?

// August 18th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Do you have any idea how crazy-unsafe it was to take this picture, while on 84E?  I almost died bringing you people this hilarity, and here it is.  This is why you have to love dogs, the simple things mean the most:  eating food, licking their balls, hanging out a window.  Pure and simple bliss.  Sometimes I watch my dogs chew on their bones and I think, “Man, do I love anything in this world as much as those dogs love that bone?”  The answer is no, and that is why dogs kick ass.  Plain and simple, you don’t have to give them anything but love, food, a few belly rubs, and a ride in your trunk with the window open and they’ll love you for life.

….you can’t even think about saying that about a cat.

Wake Up! With FWG’s Really Hot Girlfriend

// August 16th, 2010 // 6 Comments » // Uncategorized

This is not your normal wake up.  This is my girlfriend.

Now some of you may be saying, “Really, Rob?  You’re exploiting your super hot girlfriend for traffic to this website.” Listen judgemental-judgersons, this isn’t about me sky rocketing her to instant Internet fame.  Hardly.  It’s a blog about what life must be like for incredibly hot women, including examples from my 2.5 years with this one.  Enjoy

I think that the movie “As Good As It Get’s” had it right with Jack Nicholson’s take on how he “writes” women so well, “I think of a man, then I take away reason and accountability.”  Which is not a slight to women, no not at all.  I think it is more of a testament to the fact that beautiful women operate on a different level then men (or their ugly, chubby counterparts).

Allow me to give you a classic example from this weekend.  My girlfriend, vacationing in the Hamptons with 10 equally charming and beautiful girls (like a  perfect storm, boys) ordered chicken fingers, fries, and a club sandwich from some snack bar.  Now, in any man’s experience, this is how it plays out:  Order food, pay, eat food, eat feelings, consumed with guilt for having eaten what once was chicken but was processed into something called a “finger.”  My girlfriend on the other hand took her meal to her seat, sat down opened up the Styrofoam lid and found this:

I was blown away.  No, not by the fact that this “Mr. G” thought this was his best shot, but along the lines that my girlfriend’s reaction wasn’t more…surprised. That’s just it, she wasn’t even flustered.  She brushed it off like a seasoned vet, just another day at the office (sigh). The way you might pass a penny on the street and not pick it up, this is how she dealt with this situation.  I flat out asked her, “What’s it like to be you?”  She smiled, laughed, and really didn’t offer any sort of verbalization.  I was caught in her trance, she’d offered no explanation of the previous events, no answer to my question, and yet I’d felt satisfied with her “Fanswer” (that’s fake-answer, try and keep up).

I tried to explain that this was not an everyday occurrence and that this doesn’t happen to people that aren’t on Saved by the Bell or in the NFL.  But she wasn’t buying it, “You’re telling me this NEVER happens to you?”

That’s where she had me.  It had happened.  Once.

The year was 2004, I was a freshman in college visiting my roommate in Georgia.  A Waffle House waitress, weighing in at a deuce, deuce-n-a-half, left her number on my check.  She had moles on her face, three teeth, and her name was Sue.  While a lifetime of free waffles was definitely up for grabs, I declined out of fear of being crushed, or breathed on.

But this is exactly my point, stories like this for guys like me (us) are told laughing, in the vane of “remember that one time…”  For girls like my girlfriend the conversation goes, “Yeah, every few days some guy leaves me his number.”  Unbelievable.

I’ll have to add this to the mental list of things hot girls get away with, which includes: Speeding tickets, bar tabs, and paying taxes.

Now before I get the flood of emails calling me a jerk, let me remind you that I love my girlfriend very much, but she thinks its normal to order Sangria at a bar that doesn’t have it in the menu/drink list/repertoire and then have the bartender whip up a batch….just for her.

I have a Razor scooter too…my grandma ran over it with her Hyundai.

// August 13th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

As colorful as his nickname was, no one can blame [Adam] Jones for wanting to put everything associated with his troubled past behind him while he embraces a fresh start with the Cincinnati Bengals.  “I have no worries. I’m smiling. I’m happy. It’s about football,” the corner back said after a practice at Georgetown College.  “The past is the past.  Ain’t no use to keep bringing up the past and talking about it.” [USA Today]

**cue sound of ocean waves**

After some time to reflect on his wrongful ways, Jones is ready to turn over a new leaf.  VROOM VROOM!

Like anybody who appreciates media, I feel obligated to pick up a newspaper once in a while (usually that means Cosmo).  The mood seemed to strike during Thursday’s primetime munchies run and BAM - there’s Jones on a Segway.  Well Mr. Photography school drop-out, you certainly sold me.  So artsy.  Totally raw.  A human interest piece a la Cowboys’ Leonard Davis saves ducklings from a sandtrap.

And what other pictures were in the goldmine gallery of the Bengals preseason camp?  Is this some really awkward metaphor for what’s to come?  Like: “Pedal to the metal - Fall 2010!” …holla atcha Bengals yo.  Call me crazy but it’s really gotten the better of me today and now the Dunkin Donuts staff thinks I just have a permanent dumbshitgrin.

[TO and Bobbie Williams tooling around]

Thank you Cincinnati Enquirer and staff photographers for this optical delight.

-The Rook

The Rook Presents: Go pro or go home

// August 12th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Bring girlfriend to Astros game for a date…obviously get seats in the nosebleed, directly on point for every foul ball.  Night of happy endings? Dude.  The foul ball nailed her harder than he did Monday night.

It goes like this:  get inducted into NFL Hall of Fame makes for years of happy endings…at least for Cowboy’s Michael Irvin who wore his prized yellow jacket to bed (and while he was gettin h___).  Pro.  Well played sir.

News Out Of UConn: Edsall Coaching Safeties…The Player’s Perspective

// August 12th, 2010 // 3 Comments » // Uncategorized

ESPN:
Edsall coached defensive backs early in his career at Syracuse and then with the NFL’s Jacksonville Jaguars. UConn appears loaded this season at most positions, but safety could be the weak link, and Edsall is regarded as one of the game’s best teachers.

Normally I don’t like to agree with the “media types” because so often “they” have it very wrong.  But on this one, they are right.  Edsall taking over coaching duties for the safeties is the best move he could have made as a “CEO” (his words, not mine).  The safeties, with the departure of Vaughn and McClain are a weak point, this much you already know.  But, here at FWG we (I) like to go the extra mile.  To answer the question you probably won’t see answered anywhere else which is, how do the player’s feel?

Remember a few years back when Coach Lyndon Johnson had some medical issues and was sidelined during Spring football, Edsall installed himself as the Husky linebacker coach.  Well like was miserable and excellent for those guys.  Imagine being held to an even higher level of accountability (the head coach is now running your position).  In that sense it is torture, the cold sweats, the nervousness, the man that holds your fate in his hands is personally evaluating every snap you take.  I can even remember linebacker Scott Lutrus telling me, “I can feel the head man’s breath on my neck.”  But on the other side of it, it presents an opportunity learn from one of the best teachers in the game.  It is also a chance to see your coach as a person.

So often in college football, you are close with your academic staff, position coach, and of course strength and conditioning.  The head coach is wrapped up in all matters of the organization and unless you are an integral part of the team’s success (hat tip, Donny Brown) then the time you spend one on one is minimal (unless you’ve skipped class, then it is all too personal).  Edsall will be holding these guys to a level of accountability they’ve never seen (especially for such a young group).  But he is also the best man for the job, and for that they are incredibly lucky.

Dear America, Stop Rewarding Medicocrity

// August 12th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

This video of an 11 year old kid at a Angels stadium on July 30th, chosen to “steal third” and instead tripped right out of the blocks and broke his arm.  No many people are saying that the little bastard showed tremendous heart to get up and try and finish.  But let’s look at the facts, he stumbled over his own feet in the first three steps, and newsflash America: he didn’t finish.

Color me disappointed, but unless he straps that bad boy to his side, steals third, takes  that cheerleader looking girl out for drinks after, and then never calls her again I’m not impressed.  Hell, I’m not even amused.