The Girlfriend to FWG: “You Suck At Left Overs”

// February 24th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

The site is called Thoughts From a Fat White Guy for  reason.  The reason being, I’m fat.  So imagine my surprise when my roommate (ehem, girlfriend) was all fired up that I ate the last serving of lasagna in our fridge.  I mean, here I was thinking this was an unwritten rule, a common law understanding.  Like, you leave the house and go to your “real job” and I get to stay home and blog, and thus have free reign on the refrigerator.  The home office pretty much makes this place my kingdom.  Like Robin Hood, you can’t kill deer in the King’s forest.  Well in this case my forest is a GE Stackable, and the deer?  Her mom’s excellent lasagna.  So when I got an email saying “you suck at left-0vers” I nearly choked on my piping hot serving of lasagna.  I suck at em? on the contrary, I kick ass at them.  I’m like the Ali of leftovers. I might have been mediocre at college football, but mid day meals…. The fuckin’ greatest.

Expect WWIII when she’s home (via G-Chat):

me: im blogging about the lasagna dispute
Alexandra: u suck

Paterno’s Glasses Go for $9,000 at auction

// February 23rd, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Yet another thing I’ll have to hear from every resident of Pennsylvania for the rest of eternity.  Sure those glasses are like a miniature Hubble perched on his over sized schnoz, but $9,000?  In related news, Bobby Bowden auctioned off his signature straw hat for $8,000 but then had to give some of the money back.

FWG Morning Links

// February 23rd, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Draft status upgrade?…Tebow unveils new throwing motion. [Sun Sentinel]

Florida Gators are excited to unveil new –look running attack for 2010. [Orlando Sentinel]

The destruction of LaMichael James before our eyes. [The Register-Guard]

Vernon Gholston’s “bust” tag still affecting OSU players hopeful of playing in The League. [The Plain Dealer]

This Week In Insinuation and Juxtaposition….

// February 22nd, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

With several Oregon Ducks getting dismissed  over the weekend for what I’ll call a “lapse in judgement” and then the debacle of their 2009 season opener against Boise State. I’m starting to think I should take my orange and teal starter jacket out of retirement.  It’s like the glory days of the U, we are just a few failed drug tests and gang shootings away from Eugene becoming the new Miami.

Ole Miss Mascot Hunt

// February 19th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

Ole Miss is still struggling to try and find a mascot, grasping for something a little more “PC” (Politically Correct, try and keep up).  You know there will always be someone complaining no matter what they choose, even UConn had it’s fair share of PETA protests for having Jonathan The Husky as our mascot.  Although, one year that poor bastard looked like he was about to have heat stroke at the spring game….who would have thought that huskies are not suited for 95 degree weather.  Time to evolve, bitches.   Anyway, the fine folks at Every Day Should Be Saturday offered this solution:[EDSBS]

Morning Links….

// February 19th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

The last month has been pretty wild at the correctional facility they’re running up in Eugene, Oregon. [Orlando Sentinel]

Alabama junior suspended for violating team rules. [Tuscaloosa News]

In Iowa you might get killed for honking at a man. [The Sun News]

Suh is stepping up to the plate to show the scouts what he’s got. [NESN]

[Published by Andrew The Intern]

Good Morning…That’s What She Said

// February 17th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

I’m sure this has been circulating around the Internet and I’m just the last to see it.  Actually I’m certain of that, since that’s how this operation works here at FWG.  We see something last, we report it like its first.  That’s blogging 101, friend.  But back to this detention notice.  I wonder who this over zealous, self-righteous teacher was, handing out detention with no regard.  The kid is obviously hilarious, and who the hell does she think she is having to note that “you have to push it in further” is just an “innocent comment.”  Who’s intelligence is she insulting? The Principal?  Mine? The masses who read this blog.  Someone needs to take this woman down a peg or two.  And yeah I’ve assumed it’s a woman, because obviously any guy teacher would think that’s hilarious and/or give this student a high-five.  Dear Teacher, I hope you’re satisfied.  (That’s what she said).

Thanks to Marwan/Corey for the tip.

Twitter Has Gone Too Far…This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse

// February 16th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

It says it cant monitor barking, napping, and eating.  Great.  But can it measure “just licked my balls for 20 minute straight in front of the company” or “I peed on Rob’s pillow” or “oh no! he’s getting the peanut butter again”

I sure hope not.

via Zach @ [GawkerTV]

FWG Morning Links

// February 16th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

I guess SEC East teams aren’t the only thing Florida likes to smack around down there in the “Good Ol’ Swamp”! (side note: other things include unruly fans and the occaisonal

Sam Keller’s hissy fit on why his attributes aren’t stacked in EA’s NCAA Football might win him a couple dollars, and I might be part of the class action suit.

Everything is bigger in Texas, including the NCAA smack-down.  Texas is trying to have their cake and eat it too!

The NCAA: Making Even Worse Decisions in 2010!

// February 15th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

Speaking of bad decisions....

You can check out all my posts for NESN.com here.

According to the NCAA, this rule change has received unanimous support.  If you’re like me, someone who for 5 seasons was held under the oppressive thumb of the NCAA, you’ve come to the realization that the NCAA is run by four men in a sitting room, smoking comically large cigars, sipping bourbon, and cackling about their recently hatched diabolical plan.
In this case, a rule that takes away touchdowns for trash talk, and “other individual acts”.
But why, NCAA?  What’s the logic?

”Taunting and prolonged individual acts have no place in our game, and our officials have generally handled these rules well,” said former Oregon coach Mike Bellotti, the committee chair. ”This is just another step in maintaining our game’s image and reflecting the ideals of the NCAA overall.”

Bellotti hits the nail on the head.  Taunting and Individual acts have no place in “our game.“  Unfortunately the NCAA is the only group still playing that game.  Which, by my estimate is happening solely in their heads.  They surely can’t be speaking about the game that I played, or that counltess athletes across the country will be playing come September.  Because in that game trash talk, emotion, and jaw rattling hits exist and are what makes the game fun and intense.  But the NCAA does not want individualism.  Nope, never.  They want to “maintain our game’s image.”

Ohh, that makes perfect sense.  Except for, the act of scoring a touchdown is an inherently individual act. Then there is the Heisman, the most important and celebrated trophy in college football which is given to ONE individual.  And, how could we forget about the NCAA endorsed video games which use players individual likeness to sell the college football experience.

Trash talking is one of the residual benefits of playing the game and one of my fondest memories of playing.  Ray Rice, former Rutgers running back, and current OCNN news correspondent/Baltimore Raven once told me to “Get your F—ing hands off me, I’m a F—ing millionaire.”  Hilarious.  And True.  He’s playing on Sundays and I’m writing blogs.

Speaking of Rutgers, in 2007, their entire offensive line approached me, then a starting defensive tackle, and told me “You couldn’t walk on at Rutgers” and as their right guard eyed me up and down he said “Looks like we got us a little b—h here.”  While Ray Rice was right, his offensive line was wrong, UConn 38 Rutgers 19: Rob Lunn Defensive Player Of The Game.

But then there was my personal favorite, against South Florida in 2008:  “Hey 65!  I love your f—ing blog!”  It was true, I was/am a better writer than ball player.  But the idea is this, that without the trash talk, without the exchange I wouldn’t have those memories to look back on and smile about.  Sure the “talk” doesn’t do much for the “walk.” Winning and losing will still be decided by points and not clever uses of four letter verbs, but as someone with experience on the front lines of trash talking, the game won’t be the same without it.

You can check out all my posts for NESN.com here.