Posts Tagged ‘Apocalypse’

This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse: The Snowicane

// February 25th, 2010 // 5 Comments » // Uncategorized

snowicane

It’s clear sailing here in Boston, while the rest of the North East, including Rochester, NY is getting  hammered with snow, as my parents felt was news worthy enough for a 6am call.  But no, let’s take it a step further.  Let’s call it a “snowicane.”  What the hell is a Snowicane?  That word can’t be real.  The product of some overworked, underpaid hack from the Weather Channel.  Basically just scaring people into buying obscene amounts of canned goods.  Which I never understood, at all.  Mad run on the grocery store to survive the 12 inches of snow you get EVERY YEAR living in the North East. Cool it with the “I am Legend” stuff, alright?  Then of course there will be the obligatory interview with some resident of “small-town-hit-by-storm, USA”, and Susie Homemaker will be all surprised.  She literally “can’t believe” the weather.  Look, you live there, you moved or grew up there.  This has been happening every winter for the last 1,000 years.  How is it possible you’re suprised?  You can’t possibly be that dumb.  I bet you think strippers like you too.  Its 12+ inches. (that’s what she said).  You can start freaking out when we get 4+ feet and your stuck huddled around a fire eating cans of Cambells Chunky for 3 days.  Until then, chill with this SNOWICANE crap.

Twitter Has Gone Too Far…This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse

// February 16th, 2010 // 4 Comments » // Uncategorized


It says it cant monitor barking, napping, and eating.  Great.  But can it measure “just licked my balls for 20 minute straight in front of the company” or “I peed on Rob’s pillow” or “oh no! he’s getting the peanut butter again”

I sure hope not.

via Zach @ [GawkerTV]

This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse

// October 22nd, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

Well this week’s sign of the apocalypse is two-fold.  Mark Cuban says something remarkably sensible and….I agree with Mark Cuban.  You know moments like this make me proud that I spend my days at “home office”…

“Hartford?  The Whale?….they beat Vancouver once, maybe twice, in a lifetime”

Your Fat White Guy Moment Of The Week/This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse

// October 16th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // Uncategorized

See, this is your classic two-fer-one, double whammy delight.  Not only do you leave this video with a renewed belief in the creativity and ingenuity of man, but then…BOOM! The utter disgust of our beloved Fox News anchor, equating a “Kripsy With Cheese” (my name) to suicide…and how about him listing the different ways to kill yourself?  This is absolutely excellent.  Have you tasted one?  Have a picture?  Contact me:  TheFatWhiteGuy(at)Gmail.com

This Week’s Sign of The Apocalypse

// September 8th, 2009 // 5 Comments » // Uconn, Uncategorized

vick-loves-the-kidsMichael Vick Tells Kids Not To Follow The Crowd

….unless that “crowd” is sneaking drugs through airport security in an Aquafina bottle. Or if said “crowd” wants to pit dogs against one another in a fight to the death.  But, remember kids, in all other cases DO NOT FOLLOW THE CROWD.

Michael Vick is America’s newest role model.  Hooray beer democracy and second chances!

[Vick tells Philadelphia high school students to avoid peer pressure] - ESPN

This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse

// September 2nd, 2009 // 5 Comments » // Uncategorized

power-rangers

A few years ago actor Jason David Frank was used to hearing the familiar sound of fans yelling, “Go, go Power Rangers!” but now he’s ready to hear the roar of a different crowd.

The former action star from the hit series “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers” has officially made the move to mixed martial arts, and while training with UFC lightweight Melvin Guillard, he hopes to make his real fighting experience as successful as he did on television.

ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME.

Let’s just hope for the sake of his next opponent in the cage that he doesn’t morph into the Megazord and crush him.

This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse

// June 17th, 2009 // 6 Comments » // Uncategorized

I’ve been saying for weeks that the 80’s were alive and well in Europe. Pastel shirts, rolled up blazers, and of course a love for “Miami-Wize” all could have been contenders for This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse. But then, out of no where: proof-positive of why God loves us and wants us to be happy:


I miss America.

This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse

// April 29th, 2009 // 6 Comments » // Uncategorized

First the swine flu, now this.

Penfield, NY—the BIRTHPLACE of the Fat White Guy. I cannot be held responsible for this, I’m all the way in Europe, but they ran out of chicken. It is a sad day for Upstate New Yorkers, and an even sadder day for hungry Americans. All those empty stomachs, craving $4.99 worth of deep fried chicken flesh and biscuits, gravy.
Shame on you Popeyes. Shame on you Penfield.


This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse

// April 20th, 2009 // 7 Comments » // Uncategorized

This dog hates the Word of the Lord. This dog shall be smited by the Almighty-Smiter.
The fact that the dog is mad at Jesus is a bad sign, even worse is that this qualifies as entertainment.

This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse

// April 10th, 2009 // 4 Comments » // Uncategorized

http://www.kevinweiss.com/”>Well, This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse was a no-brainer. I am always a fan of the “screen shot” because working on a computer you have to enjoy life’s simple pleasures. This one comes from two fans who live in a “Fra-tirement home” together. What is a Fra-tirement home? That is an abode occupied by 3 or more gentleman in their mid to late 20’s who are still holding on to the dream of college–but must occupy normal existances in the “real world.” Their weekends are still filled with blackouts, beer pong, and enough Skoal to make Trot Nixon jealous. Anyway, a little background–these two gentleman had a mangey dog occupying their property, so they decided to research ways to humanely remove the dog from their property. They decided spraying fake “wolf urine” all over the place would be their best bet.
Well apparently you can find everything on Amazon.com. Check it out.
Pay special attention to the “Customers Who Also Bought” section.A close up:
( you may have to click to view)
SPECIAL THANKS
TO P-CAL AND D CHOW FOR THE TIP