Posts Tagged ‘Apocalypse’

This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse

// April 10th, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

http://www.kevinweiss.com/”>Well, This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse was a no-brainer. I am always a fan of the “screen shot” because working on a computer you have to enjoy life’s simple pleasures. This one comes from two fans who live in a “Fra-tirement home” together. What is a Fra-tirement home? That is an abode occupied by 3 or more gentleman in their mid to late 20’s who are still holding on to the dream of college–but must occupy normal existances in the “real world.” Their weekends are still filled with blackouts, beer pong, and enough Skoal to make Trot Nixon jealous. Anyway, a little background–these two gentleman had a mangey dog occupying their property, so they decided to research ways to humanely remove the dog from their property. They decided spraying fake “wolf urine” all over the place would be their best bet.
Well apparently you can find everything on Amazon.com. Check it out.
Pay special attention to the “Customers Who Also Bought” section.A close up:
( you may have to click to view)
SPECIAL THANKS
TO P-CAL AND D CHOW FOR THE TIP

This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse

// March 24th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Uncategorized

This Week’s Sign Of The ApocalypseI’m not even sure where to start with this.
The Biblical “Tramp Stamp.” Her father must be proud.
I’m not going to say I’m upset, but…you know…I’m upset.


This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse

// March 21st, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

This Week’s Sign Of The ApocalypseI’m not even sure where to start with this.
The Biblical “Tramp Stamp.” Her father must be proud.
I’m not going to say I’m upset, but…you know…I’m upset.


This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse AND Your Fat White Guy Moment Of The Week

// March 19th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse
AND
Your Fat White Guy Moment Of The Week


TheSmokingGun.com MARCH 16–The Peoria Pelter remains on the loose. A week after a McDonald’s employee was assaulted with a “hot greasy McGriddle sandwich,” Illinois cops have yet to make an arrest. According to a Peoria Police Department report, a copy of which you’ll find below, Patricia Munguia, 38, was hit in the face by a McGriddle thrown by a drive-thru customer angered that his sandwich did not include an egg.

Listen, food is not for fighting. Food is for eating. This angers me because 1, you shouldn’t waste perfectly edible McDonalds, even if wasn’t made to your liking. Any fat kid knows, eat it…THEN complain. So this is your fat white guy moment of the week, because anyone that assaults another human with a “hot greasy McGriddle sandwich” is obviously over three bills.
So why this week’s sign of the apocalypse?
Well, being in Europe has afforded me to look at America through the European cultural lens. If one more Austrian asks me if I wan’t McDonald’s I’m going to lose it. Listen up, Americans: They already see us as a nation of slobs (which I’m fine with) but we NEED to stop assaulting eachother with breakfast food. Any incident where (according to the report) the “victim needed medical attention due to assault by sausage sandwich” just isn’t good press. When people are reduced to fighting at Drive-Thru windows, violently hurling breakfast meat at eachother, well then it’s gone too far.

 

This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse

// March 9th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

Whats it going to be? Coins that are worth 2 Euros. Perhaps how stylish the Skinny jeans-Faux-hawk look is in Europe, Or is it that T.O. has signed with the Buffalo Bills, thus presenting a strong moral conflict for the FWG. (Wrong, Wrong, and…a close second).
Nope, this week’s sign of the apocalypse is that Michael Jackson has announced he is going back on tour.

(in later news…Jackson is also being considered as the new spokesperson for iTouch…testimonials from boys under age 10 may seal the deal)
-FWG-

This Weeks Sign Of The Apocalypse

// February 27th, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Ladies and gentleman. I am sorry. The hippies have won.This week’s sign of the apocalypse? “Politically correct war.” (Where the games don’t matter and the points don’t count). The weakest card in the deck is the one who is the most “war like” (ie. the strongest by everyone else’s standards)


Actual description from the box:

War has changed dramatically over the years, but the card game that bears its name hasn’t changed since it was first played in the late 14th century - until now. For the first time, War incorporates Love, Peace, Diversity and Unity. Players compete to get rid of their cards first, while trying to avoid the heavily-armed joker
(the weakest card in the deck).
The game is great fun for adults and children, and it’s perfect for home or travel.

Yes it is perfect game, at home on your commune. Also great for your weekend trip to Vermont.
I think I’m going to be sick…

This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse

// February 16th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Uncategorized

Someone sent me this video. 9 million viewers can’t be wrong. Can they? Why is it this week’s sign of the apocalypse? Well, because this poor kid will have to deal with being an internet celebrity during his formative years. Also, what kind of parenting is this?
Enjoy.
This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse

This Week’s Sign Of The Apocalypse

// February 13th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Uncategorized

Well, it was getting late in the week, and I wasn’t sure we’d find it. But again a reader saved the day. So here it is…

THIS WEEK’S SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSESomeone with a lot of time on their hands has compiled a list of things that people have searched for using Google. These things were searched with great regularity. Most them over 100,000 times. See for yourself, HERE
Apparently its a common thing to wonder, “Why is my poop green?” and “There is a large cat in my pants.” Enjoy

 

This Week’s Sign(s) of the Apocalypse

// February 2nd, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Apparently its two for the price of one week here at Thoughts From a Fat White Guy.
So here you go:

THIS WEEK’S SIGN(S) OF THE APOCALYPSE

1. I am the last one to say this site is an advocate of “Responsible Reporting.” Journalistic integrity not exactly high up on the list (just ask Jeff Jacobs). But there is one thing I won’t do, and that is reporting news before it actually happens (unless of course someone out there wants to help finance my Flux-Capacitor). So whats my point? This:
2. Forget the “Wardrobe Malfunction”, this is downright incredible. Some Comcast Affiliate aired 30 seconds of actual porn during the Super Bowl (the only downside: full male nudity).

Comcast continued this morning to investigate how pornography interrupted it’s feed during the final quarter of the Super Bowl on Sunday.
“We are mortified by last evening’s Super Bowl interruption, and deeply apologize to our customers for the inappropriate programming,” Maslyn said in a statement. “We are aggressively investigating the situation including the possibility of foul play.”
Comcast is working on a plan to compensate customers, but nothing has been set in stone, Maslyn said.
The pornography clip was from Club Jenna, an adult cable television channel.

“That went to the perfect guy, in the perfect situation”

Oh Club Jenn. (uh…never heard of it…moving on…) I’m sure there are some distressed housewives out here, about ready to storm their local PTA’s agreeing that this is what is turning their kids into overweight perverts (surely not their lack of exercise or love of reality television…or the FREE GRANDSLAM BREAKFAST).

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