Well, as you might have guessed I’m not going back to Austria this year. It would have been great, and I miss my teammates (Austrian and American) everyday. This morning, the new batch of Americans made there way and touched down on Austrian soil, to enjoy all the schnitzel and Murauer their hearts desire. Best of luck to the Black Lions of Carinthia, and their team captain, Bernd.
Posts Tagged ‘austria’
I left the shananigans of Austria with a few lessons and a “comprehensive” understanding of the German language. This included ordering beers (ein beir, bitte), propositioning the lady folk, (ich viel fiken), and of course learning to say an authoritative (dare I say Dictator-esque) “NO!”….NEIN! This is one such deleted scene. Enjoy your morning laugh.
This morning I woke up, made my eggs and hopped on my computer. Like most mornings, I was sifting through the muck to discern the day’s tasks. Then I clicked on an e-mail from my Austrian Football League coach, Bob Bradley. You can read all about my adventure there. But while that chapter in my life is closed, a football adventure is just beginning for one of my teammates from Austria.
His name is Matic (pronounced mah-TEES) Pirnat, he is Slovenian and he loves American football. Coach Bradley informed me that Matic was trying to come to America to go to school and play football. He had reached out to Coach to see what he thought of his talent and if he had any contacts that could aid in the process.
Not to wax patriotic, but is there any greater testament that the United States is the land of opportunity, not to mention that football is the greatest game on Earth?
At the Vikings game, I got to meet this individual. A great all-around dude with an incredibly clever T-shirt. There was something ironic to me about an Austrian with “less-than-perfect” English, sporting a T-shirt making fun of Tai prostitutes….with less than perfect English. Anyway–he bought me a post game beer, so he’s more than alright in my book.
In my professional opinion (and I do consider myself a professional) there is only one place to eat in Klagenfurt. Whether it is that snack on the go or a sit down meal, it has to be Kabob. Specifically, “Kent Kabob” in the city that always sleeps: Klagenfurt, Austria. Owned and operated by my favorite Turkish people in all the world, Kent is my number one place for “cheat” meals–but even I’m not sure how “bad” kabob is for you. How could something so good, be so bad? Anyway, here is a few pictures of me annoying the owners as I order 4 kabobs at a time. I also learned the ancient art of shaving my own meat (wait, what?).
You know, its all fun and games in the hills of Austria till you decide that a mid-air-chest-bump photo-op is a good idea. Take notice, this is NOT how to win the affection of your significant other.
I don’t watch a lot of TV around here. European programming is notoriously bad (a big hat tip to The Office, however) and Austrian TV is NO exception. My first months here I kept wondering why everyone asked me if I wanted McDonalds and if I liked Flavor-of-Love (I don’t). So for everyone who hasn’t had the pleasure of Euro-Channel surfing, here is some things worth bringing to the attention of the American audience of Thoughts From a Fat White Guy:
1) Flava-Flav will be responsible for the collapse of Western Civilization. Simple as that. The amount of play that MTV and MTV2 gets over here, with that clock-wearing buffoon on repeat seemingly 24-7, I see no reasonable conclusion other than all of Europe uniting and launching an all out offensive on America, just to shut him the hell up….Boyyyyeeeeeeee!
2) Kevin Costner is a total sell out. Sorry to spoil it for all you Field of Dreams fans out here, but Costner’s career is fading quicker than his hairline. As is evidenced by this:
Yup that’s right, TURKISH AIRLINES—STARRING KEVIN COSTNER AS….KEVIN COSTNER. “You’ll feel like a star.”—this does not surprise me, the Story of Us sucked—and now Turkey is the only place that Mr. Costner feels important. Although I can’t say this is a first. There is a long and storied history of American celebrities selling out in commercials overseas. Witness the Governator below. God bless YouTube.
3) Jolly Good Time On The Pitch, Herbert! Anyone who’s been following this blog for long enough knows, I’m not crazy about soccer, ehem—football—Communist Kickball. Well CNN has their sports recap, and its 95% Soccer 5% any other American sport. The anchors and the segment fancy themselves Chris Berman’s ala Sports Center, although neither is achieved. Direct quote from today’s broadcast “Oh and he takes it up—yes, a splendid swing of the leg—and the resulting goal puts Chelsea up in the early minutes” Call me ignorant, but American sports broadcasting is the best in the world. I take that back, that’s not ignorant—that’s Patriotic. Soccer deserves a splendid swing of the foot to the ass. God Bless America.
The Austrian Football League was founded in 1985 with its premier team being the Vienna Vikings who have won the Euro Bowl numerous times. Yet the most prolific game played was this past weekend, when the Carinthian Black Lions took down the Vienna Vikings in four quarters of football that epitomized David versus Goliath.
Read the rest HERE
Sat down to breakfast today at the hotel, and the woman hosting us came over with a prepared breakfast. Delightful!–who doesnt love breakfast meat? Ill tell you who–communists and terrorists. So there I am enjoying my kaffee—and the same woman approaches with an enthusiastic smile on her face. Instead of a bread basket full of typical Austrian fare–there is a basket full of white American bread. Wonderbread.
She looked at me with one of those ”you know you want it looks”
I couldn’t help but think, is this the same as me approaching our quarterback DJ Hernandez with a basket full of tortillas? I’ll get back to you on that one–but I’m gonna go with she was just trying to make me feel at home, so a big thank you to her.
This Is Austria