// July 13th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // A-Roid, Yankees, man boobs, wedding
Off to a wedding in Upstate New York, expect guest posts this week. And if you’ve got something good you want on Thoughts From a Fat White Guy, email it to me. If it’s good enough, it will go up.
If it doesn’t, well—don’t quit your day job.
Rob
// June 25th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Uncategorized
Facebook message from Rob Lunn to CJ Marck Dated June 18th at 11:53 pm: “CJ how the hell are you man? Are you even alive? If so, would you like to be a guest blogger on my website and talk about what it is like to transfer schools and talk a little bit about your summer training?”
Well Lunn, I am alive, and barring contract negotiation I would be honored to write a little blurb. Please forgive in advance any of my attempts to be humorous, as I can not match Rob’s level of intelligence with the keyboard.
For those of you who don’t know me, I played with FWG during the 2007 and 2008 seasons at Connecticut. He has moved on to play professional in Europe (not be to be confused with Massachusetts High School Football) and I have transferred to Miami University, which is in Oxford, Ohio (yes people frequently ask me how I’m enjoying the sunny weather in Florida). My transfer was made prior to the International Bowl and I landed at Miami University in January. Before I start talking about some of the similarities and differences between the two programs, I just want to say that I have the utmost respect for UConn Football and the University of Connecticut. I am thankful for the opportunity Coach Edsall gave me to be a part of the Husky football program and I still have many close friends from the team who I will be cheering for every Saturday this fall.
Since I am from Pennsylvania, and Rob is from, of course, Upstate New York (throw up your U’s), it wasn’t uncommon for us to have the “better high school football state” discussion every now and then. After already being challenged to similar arguments in Ohio, I have determined that this banter must occur in most college locker rooms. There is absolutely nothing to gain from proving your state is better, besides pride, but nonetheless, I will never turn down a good challenge to defend Pennsylvania HS football.
In addition to locker room talk, the off-season training programs at Miami and UConn are pretty comparable. There are some small differences, like at Miami we can listen to music while we work out and our strength training incorporates more power lifts like power cleans, hang cleans, and that sort of stuff. One major difference is that Miami does not have an indoor practice field. Getting up four days a week in February in Ohio at 5:30 to run for an hour is not exactly ideal (no wonder we are lacking recruits from Florida). Our strength coach insures us that it could always be worse, as he has worn shorts to every single workout so far. God bless him. However, these workouts, just like UConn (although indoors), are necessary to succeed in Division 1 Football, as you either work for it or you don’t.
Since I transferred from D1 to D1, NCAA rules force me to sit out a season (ladies I’m single and have some free time…). I won’t get into this too much, but in my opinion when a 17-year-old commits to a college in June after his junior year in high school, he shouldn’t be punished if the situation doesn’t work out in his favor after two years.
Thankfully, I find myself coming in with a brand new coaching staff and being able to play on the same team again with my younger brother Steve. Also, my easy-on-the-eyes older sister, an ex-super star athlete at UNC will be living nearby in Ohio for the next year. Oh and did I mention that Miami is known for “its beautiful campus, business school, and attractive women with questionable morals.” Most of the girls seem to spend more time getting ready for class in the morning than I do studying for a semester’s worth of exams. Me, still rocking the sweats and Davy Crocket winter hats. Miami actually has a campus. A street with restaurants, bars, you name it; very unfamiliar territory up in Storrs.
That’s all I got. We play Northwestern, Cincinnati, Boise State, and open up with Kentucky this year so we definitely have our hands full. I’m sure you will be able to catch a game of ours on some random Tuesday night in the fall. That’s how it goes down in the MAC baby. And who knows, maybe International Bowl 2010, UConn v Miami. Wouldn’t that be ironic? Cue Alanis Morissette.
// June 16th, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized
From reader and frequent commenter Bee 2636 regarding our passing over of his Tarheels in our preseason Top 25 review a couple weeks ago.
OK, here’s my buck-twenty on UNC (inflations has killed any 2 cents worth).
First a disclaimer: this is not a scouting report and any use of this material without the express, written permission of the Commish of the ACC, The UNC System, UNC Athletics, is forbade lest you die at the hands of Rameses and his killer ninjas.
19. North Carolina (I dunno–sportwriters, I was THERE)
This might be a more questionnable year than 2008 ( the Coastal table was set for us three separate times and we dropped our utensils every time).
Hurdle: “North Carolina always has been/is/always will be a ‘basketball school’.”
(so thinks/sez the majority of the state..maybe even the country). Charlie ‘Choo Choo’ Justice (R.I.P.), Dick Crum and Mack Brown would argue their point. One of the keys to breaking ‘the myth’ is to have solid coaching, recruiting and talent for more than a 3-5 yr coaching experiment. Which leads to my next two points.
Recruiting: The 2009 class of 29 signees posted in the Top 10 (depending on who/what you read anywhere from #5 to #8) which IS important when your goal is to make that same tier
in the National Rankings, but as we all know, no immediate impact threats. Where Crum, Brown (still love ‘ya — Hook-em Horns) and Davis succeed(ed) is holding on to the best in-state talent while balancing it with some national draws (Exposure..Exposure..Exposure–Gawd, I’m sounding like Edsall). The biggest draw for Butch has been running Pro-Set at the collegiate level (kids know Option as Pat pointed out, and a lot of coaches view the
spread, or variations of it, as a fad). A lot of talented recruits with NFL aspirations are buying-in on the notion of playing somewhere giving an advantage in preparing for the next level.
Coaching: No doubt, Butch Davis can coach and recruit. The issue will be can he sustain it under the modern ‘Won or Done’ regimes. My gut feeling is he a) stays put (alma mater -Arkansas already came a callin’), b) is successful, c) makes this his last coaching stint, d) builds a solid program (not year-in/year-out Top 10) and e) retires well before he becomes the likes of a JoePa or that Bowd’n fellar. Look for DC Ernie Withers to step up defensive secondary play. He only has a 50/50 deep secondary in experience and will have to tighten things up significantly to avert 4th quarter collapses (notably UVA and Notre Dame). With that said, I think they have taken the right step to do just that.
Offseason coaching hires, in order of position importance
1) Art Kaufman (Southern Miss) LB’s - Kaufman BETTER hit the ground running with his shoes on fire yellin’ “I need some more gasoline”–Why? Because he has two of the most solid LB position guys in the country (Carter/Sturdivant–more later)
2) Troy Douglas (USF) DB’s - Troy KNOWS why he’s there…to get the secondary playing like his string of Draft choices out of South Florida (great hire-gotta Leavitt!)–plus he and Ernie played together at Appalachian State (remember them DickRod?)
3) Allen Mogridge (Buffalo) TE’s - was a former UNC OL (300lb RT from TN. TN turns out some great linemen–ask Garrett Reynolds) Thanks Turner!–we can’t return a favor…Sorry folks! Park’s closed. Moose out front shoulda told you–one of THE classic movie lines and from a FWG to boot).
Defense: Strong unit anchored by experienced LBs Bruce Carter SAM (see UCONN Special Teams), Quan Sturdivant MIKE (NCAA leader solo tackles) and we’ve added Zach Brown (blazing speed). Boxcar (yes–as in boxes with wheels) DT’s Marvin Austin and Cam Thomas are back to clog the middle. Kendric Burney and Da’Norris Searcy shore up the secondary, but they’re gonna need a lot of help. Quan’s an interesting guy and standout both-ways player from my High School. One of two to play for the Tar Heels (the other was Rod Broadway who made his way on into the NFL–confident Quan will follow in his footsteps). The key focus for the returning core this season is to play defense at ‘anticipation read speed, not at read/reaction speed’. Withers coined that gem…translated I basically think he means recognize what’s about to happen and be there before it does…then again, I ain’t a coach.
Offense:
Strengths - Big OL (300lb Rangz-is-Us — Kyle Jolly/Aaron Stahl/Alan Pelc/Mike Ingersoll) anchored by Lowell Dyer C/LS (Rimington watchlist).
-Tailback tandem Shawn Draughn…prn ‘Drone‘ as he, in his best T Dorsett rendition, told us last year (speedy, good quickness/moves and fumbles when bent backwards–especially when you’re on a sustained bowl drive against WVA on National TV to seal the game for chrissakes! {not bitter}) and Ryan Houston (power, did I say power? physically punishing back that metes out pain on the order of WWE Raw). Both should be much improved.
StockAlert: Watch for the addition of Jamal Womble (an absolute Arizona Roadrunner) to the mix.
Weaknesses - Can ‘Number One’ QB T J Yates stay healthy with ‘Number Two’ QB Mike Paulus (see what I did there?) looking for a shot and redemption. Sad he’s gone, but 2008 reliever QB Cam Sexton (The-Nicest-Kid-Ever-To-Tote-The-Shit-Bag-And-Still-Get-Demoted). Cam gradumatriculated and will use his final year of eligiblity for Catawba University (only a 35 minute drive away from Charlotte).
-Receiving corps is pretty well depleted of proven stars. WR’s Hakeem “The Dream” Nicks and Brooks Foster (THE strongest player on the 2008 squad) move on to the NFL. We’ll be looking for Greg Little (receiver-turned basketball player- turned running back-turned receiver again–and yes, you MUST catch the ball while open with a 10 yd cushion on the nearest WVA defender on National TV during a late 3rd quarter drive that may have sealed any hope of a Mountaineer comeback {again, not bitter}) , Dwight Jones and Rashod Mason to adapt quickly. If Greg does catch the ball, he has speed, power and memories of ‘toting the mail’. He can be a force to bring down. Unfortunately, our stellar Fr WR recruit and early enrollee Joshua Adams (Cheshire Academy, CT), who was making noise for playing time, is doubtful after a summer workout knee injury. Yes those ARE MAN TEARS!
Special Teams: Down, Down, Down in a Burning Ring of Fire! KO/FG duties are ‘under competition’ which means he who scores best, scores last — edge to Casey Barth (baby brother of KC Chief Connor Barth providing he hasn’t been cut). New punter and holder (both walk-ons, NOT THAT IT MATTERS AT ALL - right Pat?). HUGE HUGE HUGE loss is WR/KR Brandon Tate (#2 NCAA all-purpose yardage and 397 yd UNC single game all-purpose record) to the NFL. Butch is still saying almost a year later, he may not be replaceable…NFL sayin’ otherwise if he don’t quit the 4:20 and lay off the wackygrass.
Schedule: The first half is mixed. 2 of the first 6 games are against FCS opponents (Citadel, Ga Southern). Hope we wear navy jerseys or pants for that game, otherwise visitors will think it looks like UNC vs UNC (yes, uniforms are THAT similar)…Nah, Butch’ll probably wait til Week 2 and pull the navy pants on the BEast vs UCONN at The Rent (on the basis of Rutgers results last year). 3 of the first 6 games are also against the Option/Spread/Hurry-Up (UCONN, ECU and 22. GaTech). Our speed and recognition will be tested early by this trio.
The second half (after the only ‘bye-week’) starts ROUGH, stays TOUGH and ends with ENOUGH . Open with back-to-back Thursday ESPN games with 15. FSU (Home and off the bye-week) and 8. Va Tech (Away). Continues with upswing Duke & idunnowhut Miami (both Home) and finishes with BC & NC State (both Away). Duke and NC State swap the ‘rivalry game’ spots. Both could be disasterous if, a) early season Dookies avoid last year’s key injuries and b) we don’t go to MooU so hellbent for revenge we forget what came we to do.
Predictions: (and its a stretch) Start the season 5-1 with a fall into that pesky 3-3 slip in second half for an overall 8-4 repeat and a(nother) trip to the Meineke or maybe an Emerald bowl (that’s just Nuts!). Not exactly where we need to be yet–although it could propel us to the threshold beginning in 2010 or 2011.
That’s all I got to say ’bout that.
-Great thoughts and insanely in depth. Anyone else want to realistically break down their Top 25 squad for the upcoming year? Let us know.
Doc Saturday also has some thoughts regarding the ‘Heels.
The question he raises is whether UNC can maintain their turnover margin proficiency from last year (+18 in 8 wins, -12 in 5 losses) while improving on their yards per game (-64 per game).
// May 15th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized
You will have to excuse my latest lack of “blogging”—the girlfriend came in from Vienna and I have been subsequently indisposed… anyway Walk-on-Boy has saved me. Enjoy the read and support a good cause.
-FWG
Rob kindly allowed me to guest post today because - well, he gets more traffic - and the only people who look at my site have ostensibly donated {Hooray supporting family!} and by doing this I get my annual good deed out of the way, so I don’t have to scramble over the Holidays. This is also my one time of the year that I plan ahead. It’s always good to get two birds stoned at once.
I’ll cut to the chase: Head over to the Juvenile Diabetes site and donate if you feel so inclined. Or donate to some other charity of your choosing. You can omit a beer or burger from your weekend entertainment fund to help a great cause.
If you need a little motivation, I am shamelessly whoring myself {Not like that.} out in a Create-a-Player {In the same vein as the NCAA/Madden video game.} Contest. There will be two winners. The philanthropist who donates the most AND the one who has the most creative name {Please note with WOB in your donation note.}. Those two get to determine my accoutrement for our upcoming games {I reserve the right to veto anything that will affect actual performance or that is past the bounds of absurdity even for me. Other than that, let your creative juices flow and I will dance as your little puppet.} on May 30th {Largest donation} and June 12th {Best name}. The photo documentation will be its own blog post. Hell, I’ll throw in a guest post for free. So that’s determining my wardrobe and a guest post {At Walk On Boy, unless Rob gives the all clear at FWG. I haven’t cleared it with him.}
Now that the nitty-gritty is out of the way, I can tell you why I care so much. Both my brother {The donation page I linked to.} and my sister {Didn’t link to hers because she’s much closer to her goal than our brother. Yes, she is the youngest. And the most mature of us three.} have juvenile diabetes. My brother finished up his career as a linebacker at NIU this past season and just completed his degree in Health Education. Watching him convince curious onlookers that he’s shooting steroids or junk when giving insulin is always a good time. My sister is a sophomore in high school, a three sport athlete majoring in awesome {OK, so you can’t have a major in high school. But she should be getting college credit.} and picked up the gift for quoting movie quotes early. She knew this whole scene from Tommy Boy before she was ten and before she’d actually seen the movie. That actually probably says more about my brother and I. How about this? She laughed at me for five minutes after I took out a handkerchief to blow my nose, and then said, “Why do you have a hanky?” Just to make you laugh, Choppity. Just to make you laugh.
They’re two of the toughest people I know; I don’t recall either one of them complaining about having diabetes. In fact, I think my sister just shrugged when I asked her how she was after she found out. While it can be controlled with proper treatment, diet and exercise, diabetics are at a higher risk for other health complications and it requires a constant vigil to maintain proper blood sugar levels. A cure is close, and every dollar helps.
Because I couldn’t find the video of Tracy Morgan on 30 Rock claiming diabetes is a ‘white myth’ and testing out a wheel on his foot or Jimmy Kimmel doing Karl Malone proposing a name change from diabetes to live-a-betes {The full text of the sketch is in Comment 1), here’s Wilford Brimley jamming out with DIABEEEETUS.
// January 23rd, 2009 // 4 Comments » // Uncategorized
As I sit here, currently 3:19am on January 21st, I realized after 2 sleepless hours in my bed what better to do than write my “guest blog appearance” for the FWG.
First off, let me get a few things straight before you all expect so much. I am NOT an English major. I do NOT blog for fun. I am NOT omniscient as Rob Lunn portrays himself to be. And…I do NOT possess the wit and humor that he so passionately presents to you every day. I AM Scott Lutrus.
I have been fortunate enough to be granted the opportunity from the FWG to post my own entry on his site. I did not request this in an effort to receive a job offer (but I will consider any proposal) or to bring attention upon myself. For once, I understand how Temple felt throughout the past year and all I want…is a little JUSTICE. Throughout the previous year, I have been asked time and time again if I really sing the UCONN fight song in the shower and where I buy my “Cucumber Soothing Regenerative Wrinkle Inhibiting Night Time Mask.” As I hate to be the bearer of bad news, if you haven’t realized by now, 90% of Rob’s entries are false and that is why I am here to spell the truth and what you may not know about Robert M. Lunn. I am going to hold off on that highly anticipated information while I’d like to get a few random thoughts off my chest.
1…Rob Lunn Receives Job After Writing Fluke Blog
Yes, it turns out that a man with too much time on his hands and a perky sense of humor can simply earn a job. If only it was that easy to land a career by being fat…white…and a guy. Kudos to you, Rob.
2…Rob Really Overachieved
I know that he has harped on this before and most of us have all thought it, but his girlfriend really is WAY out of his league. (Sorry fella, just being honest here) By writing about this, Rob received numerous pity emails that read, “Don’t put yourself down, you’re gorgeous too!” “You’re not a minor league, you’re a pro just like your girlfriend!” and “Will you marry me?” Well Rob, whatever it takes to make yourself feel better.
3…Rob Lunn is NOT Bald
Contrary to popular belief, I have to admit the man is not bald. Of course many jokes can be made about being fat and bald..and it has worked, but it is false. I could simply shave my head with a straight blade every week and begin calling myself hairless but then again, I’m not a liar.
During the past 2 bowl games, Rob has exposed quite a share of information about me, whether it is true or false. The knowledge that I am about to share with you is ALL true.
Believe it or not, in his younger years as a child before his “blogging career” took off, Rob was an actor. With his 
charming grin and picturesque blond hair, he was the national figure for the innovative Kodak Easy Share (usually found at your typical Walmart to develop pictures), commonly found in commercials. At the age of 12, Rob starred in his first movie, The Legend of Cryin’ Ryan, which he played a young boy named Billy. (For you doubters: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0526763/) With such a successful career at a young age, we all assumed he would continuously mature throughout college. My doubts turned into reality September 22nd, 2007. Which is also the day that we defeated Pittsburgh 34-14 at Heinz field. What occurred the night before was…well let’s just say, childish. As I walked into Rob’s Marriot hotel room on my way to breakfast the morning of the game, I noticed his bed was stripped of all the linens. A few thoughts rambled through my mind, “Maybe he had a nightmare?” “Maybe Cody Brown played a joke on him” or…”Maybe…he…wait, no he couldn’t have.” You guessed it, my last presumption was correct. I looked at Rob and didn’t even have to ask when he looked at me like any 6 year old would after wetting the bed and said in a soft tone, “I had an accident.” I understand that people may get nervous the night before the game and might lose a few hours of sleep because they’re concentrating so hard on the battle upon them, but at this age, the only excuse for soaking your sheets is a night of excessive drinking…and that certainly wasn’t the case. It’s time to grow up, Rob.
Now that I have shared some of the FWG’s secrets, I would like to sincerely thank all of the fans who take the time to support my good friend Rob Lunn by reading this blog and everyone who has taken the time to support our team on and off the field. Hope to see you all in the 2009 season. Signing out..SWG (Slender White Guy).
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