Posts Tagged ‘guest blog’

Excuse My Hiatus, Please

// May 15th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

You will have to excuse my latest lack of “blogging”—the girlfriend came in from Vienna and I have been subsequently indisposed… anyway Walk-on-Boy has saved me. Enjoy the read and support a good cause.
-FWG

Rob kindly allowed me to guest post today because - well, he gets more traffic - and the only people who look at my site have ostensibly donated {Hooray supporting family!} and by doing this I get my annual good deed out of the way, so I don’t have to scramble over the Holidays. This is also my one time of the year that I plan ahead. It’s always good to get two birds stoned at once.

I’ll cut to the chase: Head over to the Juvenile Diabetes site and donate if you feel so inclined. Or donate to some other charity of your choosing. You can omit a beer or burger from your weekend entertainment fund to help a great cause.

If you need a little motivation, I am shamelessly whoring myself {Not like that.} out in a Create-a-Player {In the same vein as the NCAA/Madden video game.} Contest. There will be two winners. The philanthropist who donates the most AND the one who has the most creative name {Please note with WOB in your donation note.}. Those two get to determine my accoutrement for our upcoming games {I reserve the right to veto anything that will affect actual performance or that is past the bounds of absurdity even for me. Other than that, let your creative juices flow and I will dance as your little puppet.} on May 30th {Largest donation} and June 12th {Best name}. The photo documentation will be its own blog post. Hell, I’ll throw in a guest post for free. So that’s determining my wardrobe and a guest post {At Walk On Boy, unless Rob gives the all clear at FWG. I haven’t cleared it with him.}

Now that the nitty-gritty is out of the way, I can tell you why I care so much. Both my brother {The donation page I linked to.} and my sister {Didn’t link to hers because she’s much closer to her goal than our brother. Yes, she is the youngest. And the most mature of us three.} have juvenile diabetes. My brother finished up his career as a linebacker at NIU this past season and just completed his degree in Health Education. Watching him convince curious onlookers that he’s shooting steroids or junk when giving insulin is always a good time. My sister is a sophomore in high school, a three sport athlete majoring in awesome {OK, so you can’t have a major in high school. But she should be getting college credit.} and picked up the gift for quoting movie quotes early. She knew this whole scene from Tommy Boy before she was ten and before she’d actually seen the movie. That actually probably says more about my brother and I. How about this? She laughed at me for five minutes after I took out a handkerchief to blow my nose, and then said, “Why do you have a hanky?” Just to make you laugh, Choppity. Just to make you laugh.

They’re two of the toughest people I know; I don’t recall either one of them complaining about having diabetes. In fact, I think my sister just shrugged when I asked her how she was after she found out. While it can be controlled with proper treatment, diet and exercise, diabetics are at a higher risk for other health complications and it requires a constant vigil to maintain proper blood sugar levels. A cure is close, and every dollar helps.

Because I couldn’t find the video of Tracy Morgan on 30 Rock claiming diabetes is a ‘white myth’ and testing out a wheel on his foot or Jimmy Kimmel doing Karl Malone proposing a name change from diabetes to live-a-betes {The full text of the sketch is in Comment 1), here’s Wilford Brimley jamming out with DIABEEEETUS.

FWG: LUTRUS IS ON

// January 23rd, 2009 // 4 Comments » // Uncategorized

AS PER OUR AGREEMENT, SCOTT LUTRUS IS ALLOWED TO TAKE OVER THE BLOG FOR ONE DAY. HERE IS HIS ENTRY.

As I sit here, currently 3:19am on January 21st, I realized after 2 sleepless hours in my bed what better to do than write my “guest blog appearance” for the FWG. First off, let me get a few things straight before you all expect so much. I am NOT an English major. I do NOT blog for fun. I am NOT omniscient as Rob Lunn portrays himself to be. And…I do NOT possess the wit and humor that he so passionately presents to you every day. I AM Scott Lutrus.

I have been fortunate enough to be granted the opportunity from the FWG to post my own entry on his site. I did not request this in an effort to receive a job offer (but I will consider any proposal) or to bring attention upon myself. For once, I understand how Temple felt throughout the past year and all I want…is a little JUSTICE. Throughout the previous year, I have been asked time and time again if I really sing the UCONN fight song in the shower and where I buy my “Cucumber Soothing Regenerative Wrinkle Inhibiting Night Time Mask.” As I hate to be the bearer of bad news, if you haven’t realized by now, 90% of Rob’s entries are false and that is why I am here to spell the truth and what you may not know about Robert M. Lunn. I am going to hold off on that highly anticipated information while I’d like to get a few random thoughts off my chest.

1…Rob Lunn Receives Job After Writing Fluke Blog

Yes, it turns out that a man with too much time on his hands and a perky sense of humor can simply earn a job. If only it was that easy to land a career by being fat…white…and a guy. Kudos to you, Rob.

2…Rob Really Overachieved

I know that he has harped on this before and most of us have all thought it, but his girlfriend really is WAY out of his league. (Sorry fella, just being honest here) By writing about this, Rob received numerous pity emails that read, “Don’t put yourself down, you’re gorgeous too!” “You’re not a minor league, you’re a pro just like your girlfriend!” and “Will you marry me?” Well Rob, whatever it takes to make yourself feel better.

3…Rob Lunn is NOT Bald

Contrary to popular belief, I have to admit the man is not bald. Of course many jokes can be made about being fat and bald..and it has worked, but it is false. I could simply shave my head with a straight blade every week and begin calling myself hairless but then again, I’m not a liar.

During the past 2 bowl games, Rob has exposed quite a share of information about me, whether it is true or false. The knowledge that I am about to share with you is ALL true.

Believe it or not, in his younger years as a child before his “blogging career” took off, Rob was an actor. With his charming grin and picturesque blond hair, he was the national figure for the innovative Kodak Easy Share (usually found at your typical Walmart to develop pictures), commonly found in commercials. At the age of 12, Rob starred in his first movie, The Legend of Cryin’ Ryan, which he played a young boy named Billy. (For you doubters: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0526763/) With such a successful career at a young age, we all assumed he would continuously mature throughout college. My doubts turned into reality September 22nd, 2007. Which is also the day that we defeated Pittsburgh 34-14 at Heinz field. What occurred the night before was…well let’s just say, childish. As I walked into Rob’s Marriot hotel room on my way to breakfast the morning of the game, I noticed his bed was stripped of all the linens. A few thoughts rambled through my mind, “Maybe he had a nightmare?” “Maybe Cody Brown played a joke on him” or…”Maybe…he…wait, no he couldn’t have.” You guessed it, my last presumption was correct. I looked at Rob and didn’t even have to ask when he looked at me like any 6 year old would after wetting the bed and said in a soft tone, “I had an accident.” I understand that people may get nervous the night before the game and might lose a few hours of sleep because they’re concentrating so hard on the battle upon them, but at this age, the only excuse for soaking your sheets is a night of excessive drinking…and that certainly wasn’t the case. It’s time to grow up, Rob.

Now that I have shared some of the FWG’s secrets, I would like to sincerely thank all of the fans who take the time to support my good friend Rob Lunn by reading this blog and everyone who has taken the time to support our team on and off the field. Hope to see you all in the 2009 season. Signing out..SWG (Slender White Guy).