Posts Tagged ‘McDonalds’

Your Fat White Guy Moment Of The Week

// April 29th, 2010 // 7 Comments » // Uncategorized

One of my fondest childhood memories is my Dad taking me to McD’s to get after school a Happy Meal for me, cheeseburgers for him, and of course a lifetime of poor body image.  But you know what, growing up a fat kid made me tough, and who are these people to deprive these kids of happy meals. A happy meal is nothing without the choking hazard or “toy” included.  Would Jay-Z be what he is today, if not for growing up in Marcy, school of the hard-knocks?  Answer is no, people.  Shit no!  Without Happy Meals Thoughts From a Fat White Guy would probably be Thoughts From a 24 Year Old With Low LDL Cholesterol.  Give the kids their toys, with fries and a coke.

Your Fat White Guy Moment Of The Week: McDonalds-U

// March 31st, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

SHANGHAI – McDonald’s inaugurated its first Hamburger University in China on Tuesday to train new generations of managers as foreign companies step up efforts to develop and keep Chinese talent.
“It’s because of China’s strategic importance to McDonald’s that we have chosen to have our new Hamburger University in Shanghai,” said Fenton. “We have to get ahead of the people curve.”
Hamburger U. Shanghai’s courses can be used in some cases to earn college credit and the company says graduates use such schools as a springboard to pursue college degrees.

“We will do our best to be the Harvard for our industry,” said the school’s dean, Susanna Li.

This is a school for fat kids.  I couldn’t make this stuff up.  You can talk “global innovation, revenue streams, synergy” ’til your blue in the face.  But I know what this really is.   Literally if I thought to myself, “Hmmm, what would I call a school that teaches people how to be fat? How about Hamburger University.”  It would not even take an ounce of creative fiber to come up with that.  But, not only does it actually exist, but “we” are putting one in China.  Brilliant! Now I have to wonder what the class schedule will be like.  You know there’s going to be some slacker only taking 12 credits, “Fountain Soda 101″ and “Advanced Burger Flipping Dynamics”.  This is all new and interesting to a population not yet fully exposed to the wonders of processed buns and slabs of meat formally known as “cow rectum.” I bet those people don’t even know what a Big Mac is.  Imagine how excited they’ll be when they have to write their “McGriddle Thesis.”

Thanks to Alexandra for the tip


Your Fat White Guy Moment Of The Week

// June 9th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

I don’t care if it is Singapore, Oklahoma, or the streets (excuse me, canals) of Venice–if there is a McDonalds—I’ll find it.

The Last Supper

// April 24th, 2009 // 8 Comments » // Uncategorized

“…and FWG said to his deciples, take this Big Mac, eat it, and think of me–for this is the fuel of fatness and the burger of your salvation”

I promise you that I have never been a big fast food guy. However, around Austria, the only place to get really delicious, really fattening food without breaking the bank happens to be America’s greatest contribution to the world (besides handguns and democracy) that’s right, McDonalds.
My roommates Dave and Ryan decided to come along to document the experience, of course with the obligatory taunts about how I’d “be fat forever” and I needed to stop “eating my emotions.” Best of all though, was the look from the cashier when I said “Yah, Ummmm I’ll have Big Mac mit Pommes…..3 cheeseburgers…” “Yah your total iz..” “No, no, no, sweet heart, Im not done yet. Coca-cola, Chicken nuggets, anddddd….a milk-shake”
And with that I had confirmed every stereotype of Americans. Not mad.
Enjoy the pictures.

Your Fat White Guy Moment Of The Week

// February 19th, 2009 // 7 Comments » // Uncategorized

Well, some one finally did it. They’ve combined the two biggest problems in America (Booze and McDonalds) to make one amazing solution. I’m sure there are a lot of people who love getting drunk (I was in college once too). And of course with 6 million McDonalds locations nation wide, apparently people are also enjoying an occasional splurge on the Dollar Menu. The next logical step? Combine the two, for a wonderfully glutonous concoction.

Introducing: The McNuggetini:2 McNuggz (plus more for snacking)
1 tub McDonalds Brand Barbeque Sauce (plus more for licking off pinky finger)
1 lg. Mcdonalds Brand Chocolate Milkshake (plus more for bringing all the boys to the yard)
1 bottle Vanilla Vodka (recommended brand: Absolut)

Open the McDonalds bag. Eat one McNugg each, followed by two bites of the Filet-o-Fish (make sure you don’t tell anyone that you eat Filet-o-Fishes).

Mix three or four shots of vanilla vodka in the McDonalds Brand Chocolate Milkshake, followed by one shot each directly into your mouth.

Rim each martini glass with McDonalds Brand Barbeque Sauce. pour milkshake/vodka mixture into the glass. Garnish with a McNugg (which is to be swiped along barbeque sauce rimmed glass after the milkshake has been finished, and consumed with pure, unadulterated glee). Found at THISRECORDING.COM