Your Fat White Guy Moment Of The Week: McDonalds-U
// March 31st, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized
SHANGHAI – McDonald’s inaugurated its first Hamburger University in China on Tuesday to train new generations of managers as foreign companies step up efforts to develop and keep Chinese talent.
“It’s because of China’s strategic importance to McDonald’s that we have chosen to have our new Hamburger University in Shanghai,” said Fenton. “We have to get ahead of the people curve.”
Hamburger U. Shanghai’s courses can be used in some cases to earn college credit and the company says graduates use such schools as a springboard to pursue college degrees.“We will do our best to be the Harvard for our industry,” said the school’s dean, Susanna Li.
This is a school for fat kids. I couldn’t make this stuff up. You can talk “global innovation, revenue streams, synergy” ’til your blue in the face. But I know what this really is. Literally if I thought to myself, “Hmmm, what would I call a school that teaches people how to be fat? How about Hamburger University.” It would not even take an ounce of creative fiber to come up with that. But, not only does it actually exist, but “we” are putting one in China. Brilliant! Now I have to wonder what the class schedule will be like. You know there’s going to be some slacker only taking 12 credits, “Fountain Soda 101″ and “Advanced Burger Flipping Dynamics”. This is all new and interesting to a population not yet fully exposed to the wonders of processed buns and slabs of meat formally known as “cow rectum.” I bet those people don’t even know what a Big Mac is. Imagine how excited they’ll be when they have to write their “McGriddle Thesis.”
Thanks to Alexandra for the tip
Grand Slam. Free Breakfast. 820 Calories. 69 grams of (delicious) fat. Its a free breakfast, so don’t get on your high horse you judgmental bastards. And it’s called a Grand Slam…you know, for the sports fan (and the kids!). So, go on 
America! You’ve earned it, ’cause there is nothing more American than two eggs, pancakes, and bacon, all served under the flicker of florescent light. You’ll take your coffee just the way you take your democracy….strong and black*.
