Posts Tagged ‘NESN’

Jacoby Ellsbury Declared By Nike To Be The Best Athlete Of All Time?….NOT SO FAST

// March 9th, 2010 // 5 Comments » // Justice, Uconn, Uncategorized, wob

So according to this, Ellsbury’s  “SPARQ” rating is 102.31 which, is a little bit of a convoluted calculation if you ask me, but go ahead and try it here (using Nike’s SPARQULATOR!) I’ll refrain from tackling the whole “this is simply a marketing ploy” by Nike angle, because the whole corporate America thing is played out.  But I will say this, the means of measuring Ellsbury’s athleticism are by no means widely accepted as the standard by strength coaches and professionals around the United States.  Sure, the vertical jump, 5-10-5 and 30 yard (and 40 yard) dash are measures of speed, power, and agility, but Nike is using a measuring stick that is wildly inaccurate.  First, the “jump pad” (which is used to measure vertical leap by calculating the time he leaves the pad to the time he lands) is easily manipulated, which is why every “real” evaluation (including the NFL combine) doesn’t use this method.

Read the full analysis over at

Hat Tip: [Barstool Sports]

Breaking Down My Career Choices: If You Can’t Laugh At Yourself Edition

// November 6th, 2009 // 6 Comments » // Uncategorized

nova-fest-pizza-10It has occurred to me, on more than one occasion, that I am a career underdog, and I am fine with that.  Not really great at any one thing.  The old cliche, “Jack of all trades, master of none” probably best describes me.  So, its time that I took a collective look at how life has treated me, now that football is over and I relegated to a life of “legendary status”(in my own mind).

I work for

Excellent, absolutely awesome job.  Kudos to Mike Hall and Eric Ortiz for plucking me out of the masses of bloggers and former athletes out there.  However, I never got a formal headshot, so while I do have an awesome “real” job, my fat little head barely fits in the profile window (see below).



“Whats so bad about that?” you might be saying.  Truth is, my chubby little face doesn’t look too bad.  But then you see the look of real professionals.  Like former Stanford baseball standout, turned sports editor, turned my  boss, Eric Ortiz.


Dignified. Professional.

Maybe it is the fact that I provide no real service to the world, but nothing about my fat face says, you should trust this guy about what he has to say about sports.  Maybe his opinion on food, or cholesterol lowering drugs, but other than that, (and as a general rule of thumb) never trust a man who looks like his neck his trying to swallow his head.  It’s bad for business.

He Lacks The Opposable Thumbs, Focker

// May 5th, 2009 // 8 Comments » // Uncategorized

In case you didn’t know. I run/own NESN. In the eyes of the Klagenfurt Hospital I am now the sole owner, operator, CEO, and President, etc of the New England Sports Network.

But how did this happen? Please allow me to explain:

We played our 4th game yesterday—a grudge match if I’ve ever seen one. Two teams, a lot of history between then, and a personal vendetta. The story goes something like this: Back in 2004 the Carinthian Black Lions were actually the “Carinthian Cowboys.” Their starting quarterback was an Austrian (which for this league is fairly rare, since most quarterbacks tend to be “imports”). This quarterback, Bernie was all run-and-gun, modeling his game after the late great Michael Vick. The only problem was that Bernie didn’t have blazing 4.4 speed, shiftiness, or any remarkable athletic ability. Instead Bernie looked like a down and out offensive guard, with legs like a snake and an arm like a wet noodle.

Read the rest HERE