Ryan McGuire | Thoughts from a fat white guy

Allow Me…

// June 18th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

Please allow me to demonstrate to you the difference between European “sports” and those of the American persuasion.

European:

American:

….making it too easy, guys. Insert your own Dubya Dubya Two reference here.Pele v. Lawrence Taylor.

/

+1 to Ryan McGuire for his insight.

The Fomerly Fat White Guy Project…UPDATE!

// May 11th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // Uncategorized

Here is the update on the “contestants” as we are now 2 weeks into the competition:

Remember what is at stake here: UConn Tickets, T-shirts, Ownership of this blog, personal pride, self respect (or lack there of).

Fat Pickle Fatty:

How did I get to be such a fat ass? Hard work, that’s how! A commitment to bad food choices, 50 beers a week, and little to no exercise. The “perfect storm” of fatness. I’m 6 feet tall and currently weigh 203.5 lbs. My “playing weight” is 180-ish. So I could stand to lose 20. And truth is I’m ready to. And I love a contest/bet/challenge.

Tex:

Walk on Boy:
Tony:
Put down that beer…what is that? Schlitz? For shame, for shame.

Fat Pat:
The two weeks have been kind to Fat Pat—careful not to be distracted by his beautiful mane of sparsely distributed chest hair.FWG:
I was told that it’s not fair if I do not have a personal stake in this competition. So here you have it, my “before” picture(s).

Still waiting on updates from Morgan and Martin…..post that later.

Final Thoughts (yes, it HAS been a while since I’ve had any):

Thinking of doing the “Ten Commandments of Blogging”:
“Thou shall not blog on the Sabbath, lest he receiveth a brandy glass full of brown M&Ms, with an orientation of north by northwest”

I am so out of touch with American movies, but having visited Movies.com today, I am willing to bet that “The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” is not exactly “Oscar worthy.” The smart money is on “Hotel For Dogs”

Yesterday my teammate Ryan was told by an Austrian club-goer that he always enjoyed it when “Germans tried to speak English—stick to German, you’re English is terrible.” Ryan is neither German, nor does he speak a lick of it. That being said, his English is pretty poor.

A New Feature: What’s Different in Austria?

// March 11th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Uncategorized

“What’s Different in Austria”

The differences between life in the States and here in Austria.

NO SWEATPANTS ALLOWED!

I’m not sure how relevant this post is to the rest of the “working population” but to (former) college athletes, this is devastating. Actually, I take this back, with current unemployment rates, the no-sweatpants rule is more relevant than ever. But what is this “rule” you say? Well after noticing an alarming abundance of skinny-jeans and designer shirts walking the streets of Austria, I posed the question to our Austrian teammate, Ramon, where “all the normal dressed people are.” Ramon explains,
“Ya, ve dont vere ze sweatpants, be-coos ze poliezi vill stop and hassle you. Zey hate ze sweatpants”
And with that, 90% of my wardrobe became completely unnacceptable.
The obvious problem here is that skinny jeans are for…skinny people. Not heavy-set football players.

Ryan McGuire Reports: