Posts Tagged ‘Tim Tebow’

The Weekend Recap: Silver Lining Edition

// September 6th, 2011 // 4 Comments » // Uncategorized

College football has become harder to watch in recent years.

That was the sentiment my brother and I shared on our way to a camping trip this weekend (More on both in Part 2 of this Labor Day Weekend Recap extravaganza).

The reason?

College sports have forgotten about college.  They are in most cases, a breeding ground for the pros, and the term student athlete usually only applies to the punter, and a maybe few scrubs on special teams.

Then there’s the malfunctioning bowl system that gives us a month worth of games that either we don’t care about, only one team cares about because for them it is like the Super Bowl, one team doesn’t give a shit about because it is an insult to be in the San Diego Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl and they never show up, or a National Championship game that subjects us to a half of sloppy football because both teams have been off for a month.

Think about some of the lasting images from the history of college football.

The band on the field.  Flutie’s hail mary against Miami.  Kordell Stewart’s last second bomb to Michael Westbrook. Oklahoma/Boise State.  Just to name a few.

Now what comes to mind when you think about college football today?

Ohio State players/coaches getting suspended and fired.  The U’s legal troubles.

It’s no wonder that two rabid football fans would be questioning their love of the game.  It’s not nearly as fun to watch a game where the announcers dominate the color commentary with legal mumbo jumbo, and you’re more likely to hear a debate over whether COLLEGE athletes deserve to get paid a salary than one over who runs the best offense.

For those of you out there who feel the same way; I present a Silver Lining edition of the Weekend Recap, in which I will find something positive about all of the games featuring Top 25 teams this past weekend.

1)Oklahome 47 Tulsa 14 - Tom Wort honoring friend, and fallen teammate Austin Box by wearing his number out onto the field was the kind of moment that makes you forget about bull shit like agent scandals.  Oh, and the Sooners’ offense is scary good.

2)Alabama 48 Kent State 7 - A much needed distraction for those devastated by the tornado in Tuscaloosa a few  months ago.

4)LSU 40 3)Oregon 27 - Might make everyone clamoring for a place at the top of the college football mountain for the PAC 10 shut up.

5)Boise State 35 19)Georgia 21 - Might make all those who claim that the SEC is an untouchable super conference shut up.

6)FSU 34 UL-Monroe 0 - Good to see that someone in college football still values defense.  A shutout is the ultimate embarrassment, and some teams will even kick a field goal while down by 40, just to avoid it….

7)Stanford 57 SJSU 3 - Ummmm…..Andrew Luck is good.

8)Texas A&M 46 SMU 14 - There was a prank in Virginia this weekend that involved over 17,000 pairs of women’s underwear.  So Much Underwear, get it?

9)Oklahoma State 61 Louisiana-Layfayette 34 - Do I really need to sell a game that featured 95 points?

10)Nebraska 40 Chattanooga 7 - Taylor Martinez is Tim Tebow 2.0, without all the Jesus jocking and bible thumping, and with a neck.

11)Wisconsin 51 UNLV 17 - The Badgers gave up two late scores, and a cover of the spread, with under five minutes to go.  Immediately after, head coach Bret  Bielema bought a Maserati.  Gambling conspiracies are fun.

12)South Carolina 56 ECU 37 - 93 points, and some ole ball coach hypocrisy as he tried to punish Steven “Joe Kane Jr” Garcia by benching him, only to bring him in in the second quarter after falling behind 17-0.

13)Virginia Tech 66 Appalachian State 13 - Appalachian State stinks again.

Baylor 50 14)TCU 48 - An instant classic.

15)Arkansas 51 Missouri State 7 - You now know that Missouri State has a football team.

South Florida 23 16)Notre Dame 20 - We can get all that, ‘Maybe Notre Dame will be good because they used to be good, and they have cool helmets’ stuff out of the way.

17)Michigan State 28 Youngstown State 6 - Spartan captain Joel Foreman gave up his spot in the starting lineup to Arthur Ray Jr, who had been sidelined since signing in 2007, while he battled cancer in his leg.

18)Ohio State Akron 0 - The Ohio State University didn’t break a single rule, or sell a single jock strap.

20)Mississippi State 59 Memphis 14 - Miss St RB Vick Ballard has one of the coolest names ever.  Hopefully he realizes his potential as a leading man in porn movies.

21)Missouri 17 Miami OH 6 - This game was on at noon, when most of us were hungover and still sleeping.

22)Florida 41 FAU 3 - Gators were pitching a shutout, then heard that Tebow was seen at a synagogue.  They gave up a field goal before realizing they had simply misheard, and he was actually singing gaga.

23)Auburn 42 Utah State 38 - The defending National Champions needed two late touchdowns, AND an onside kick recovery, to beat the Aggies.  No not those Aggies.  The ones from Utah State.  I’d say overrated, but I don’t like to gossip.  So you ain’t heard that from me!

24)West Virginia 34 Marshall 13 - After this rain shortened affair, I know what Article 3a, 3b, and 3c in the college football rule book are.

25)USC 19 Minnesota 17 - USC finally ran out of illegally signed players, and I’ve finally run out of snarky things to say.

Until later on that is, when I unveil Part 2 of The Weekend Recap, the My Favorite Things edition.


If I See Someone Walking Around With A Tebow Jersey, I’ll Probably Slap The Shit Out Of Them

// April 29th, 2010 // 5 Comments » // Uncategorized

tebow-jerseySo according to every major news outlet, that considers this news, Tebow’s jersey is not the hottest selling in the NFL.  Say what you will about the game, or marketing, but this really speaks more about the fans.  People need to have a little more pride about themselves.  If you are going to wear another man’s name on your back, how about someone who has…oh I don’t know, played an NFL game?  Go with the classic, proven time winners: Namath, Montana, Kelly, Marino, Butkis, hell even Rice.  Doesn’t matter if they didn’t play for your team, you can still respect what they’ve accomplished.

Which is exactly the problem, young Timothy, Denver’s newest resident hasn’t done shit.  Unless you count putting McDaniel’s job on the linehe-hate-me and costing his team their  2nd, 3rd, and 4th round picks.  This is a sell out move.  People who buy a Tebow jersey are going to feel exactly the same as those guys with XFL “He Hate Me” Jerseys in their closet: Stupid for the purchase, legendary at Halloween for the collectors item.

Bottom line, if I see you wearing this jersey, I’m going to slap the shit out of you.  The end.

Breaking News! Tim Tebow Doesn’t Want To Become The Next Brady Quinn

// April 21st, 2010 // 4 Comments » // Uncategorized


Former Florida quarterback Tim Tebow has decided not to attend the NFL draft in New York City and instead will watch it at his home in Jacksonville, Fla., a league source told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter.

According to the source, Tebow believes it would be too hard to get his whole family and his friends to New York in time for the draft’s first round on Thursday night.

Allow me to translate:  “Too hard to get his whole family [to New York]” means:  I don’t want to sit around like Brady Quinn as I check my iPhone to see what the weather is like in Edmonton, Canada (Go Eskimos!).  Conversely, Brady Quinn should be excited that his lasting legacy in the NFL will be teaching future pros how to avoid embarrassment….at least until they get set loose on the Pittsburgh night life, at that point they’re on their own.

Dick Vitale Loves Tim Tebow: Barry Petchesky Takes The Lead

// April 20th, 2010 // 6 Comments » // Uncategorized


[Intangibles] [Toughness], he [wants to win]

I wish that I could be the first to comment on this.  Unfortunately someone was not only first, but did it better.  Barry Petchesky over at Deadspin, to quote Barry:

Color Me Fucking Shocked:  Dick Vitale Loves Tim Tebow:

You had to know Vitale would have a chubby for Tebow, the embodiment of heart. It was inevitable. The college basketball sportscaster chimes in today with an unbearable column about why Tebow should be taken high in the draft.

Check out the rest over at DEADSPIN

Tim Tebow Ad Oddly Similar Hilarious Office Linebacker?

// February 9th, 2010 // 4 Comments » // Uncategorized

I don’t know about the whole message behind the Tim Tebow commercial.  But when I saw it all I could think was, “Real clever, Tim.  Taking a page out of Terry Tate’s playbook….”  Unexpected devastating hits on women and mid level employees is a sure fire way to America’s heart.  But  don’t take my word for it…

Morning Links: Tebow Cant Throw…PERIOD, Morning Miracles in Central New York, and I’ve Hired an Intern

// February 5th, 2010 // 8 Comments » // Uncategorized

  • tebow-deliveryAll of this “Tebow in the NFL” talk has led me to the conclusion that people aren’t too sure if he can make it.  Judging by the above picture, his side-arm delivery is rock solid and ready to take the NFL by storm (of locusts).  There has been some talk about him heading the Jags, which apparently is not sitting well with Uche Nwaneri, who got on the Jags fan board and gave his own Top 5 of why Tebow sucks.  Reason #1… “He can’t throw….PERIOD!”  read the other 4 reasons here. [YahooSports]
  • tom-lemmingSpeaking of Tebow, here’s your morning miracle: 31 players signed on to play Syracuse Football. Now do you believe in the impossible?   Oh and here’s one of the little whipper-snappers now.  With his helmet of hair and athletic body, he’s already two steps ahead of me career wise.
  • In more FWG news, after an extensive search, we’ve hired an intern.  You won’t see him, cause he’ll be behind the scenes, getting my coffee, folding my clothes and making my dinner.  I tried to warn him “this will be nothing but a blemish on your resume”  But, he seems to think we’re doing something right here.  And I can’t disagree with him; 22 intern applicants and 1,000,000 readers can’t be wrong.  Then again, they probably could.


2010 Senior Bowl Players To Watch (Yes Tim Tebow Is On There)

// January 29th, 2010 // 7 Comments » // Justice, Minnesota, Rob Lunn, Uncategorized

You should watch this year’s senior bowl for several reasons.  Not only is it a precursor to the combine and draft, but it is also infinitely more entertaining than the Pro Bowl.  Sure, its an All Star game, but these guys actually have something to prove, which makes them very dangerous people.  So here are my players to watch.

QB - Tim Tebow, Florida Gators - Tebow is probably the prospect that everyone is watching. He had an outstanding career at Florida but has a ton of questions to answer as an NFL prospect. Can he play under center? (probably  not) Can he make drop backs second nature? Can he fix his extremely long release? (that’s what she said)

WR - Danario Alexander, Missouri Tigers - Great Size (6′5, 221 lbs.) Went under the radar at Missouri. His speed is the big question mark. There are a lot of good receivers in this draft but many are small guys with blazing speed. He is a different type of WR.

RB/WR - Dexter McCluster, Ole Miss Rebels - Kid can fly. I mean not literally, but pretty close. Many people will question his size (5′8, 165 lbs.) but the NFL is built for speed, not comfort (like Dr. Quinn’s boobs)  Current examples in the NFL include DeSean Jackson, Darren Sproles, and Percy Harvin.  His stock is sky rocketing and I’m going on the record saying he’ll be a 2nd round pick.

DT - Terrence Cody, Alabama Crimson Tide - I just wrote him in because rarely do you get to watch guys close to 400 lbs play football. He weighed in at 370 lbs. An absolute monster in the middle. Cody says he will drop 20 lbs. before the combine but for how big he is, he is athletic and can move. He clogs up the middle and will allow LBs to run free through holes to make stops in the back field.

S - Taylor Mays, USC Trojans - At 6′3, 231 lbs, Taylor Mays is like a LB playing safety. He is an absolute freak athlete. He runs very well and is a student of the game. He struggles in the play action passing game and some scouts question his football instincts. He had a down year at USC and it will hurt his draft stock a little. Sometimes Mays takes bad angles to the ball. There has been talk that Mays will move to LB in the NFL.

Kill, Romance, Marry: Your Road Trip Guide To Football

// November 13th, 2009 // 6 Comments » // Rob Lunn, Uncategorized


Perhaps you’ve played the game on some long road trip with your buddies, weaving your way through the comedic obstacles til the inevitable occurs, “Kill, romance or marry,  Ryan’s Mom, Coach Baker, Ghandi”.  Tough, and hilarious all the same.  Well, today taking a look around the college football landscape I’m going to throw out a few names, and my own Kill, romance, and marry.  Feel free to join in in the comments section, which lately has been a great outlet for my “readership”……”I can’t believe they actually pay you for this drivelYes, I can’t believe it either, sir.

Here we go.
rich-rodriguezRich Rodriguez.  Kill.
As with all things Malafronte, I am going to agree with him on this one.  Despite (or because of) his Ralph Maccio/Scott Baio-esque good looks, hes dead on with how everyone should be feeling about good ol Dick-Rod right now:

40 consecutive winning seasons and 33 straight bowl appearances, the Wolverines are on the verge of a losing record for the second time in two years since Rich Rodriguez took over. It’s sort of like if the 2009 Yankees, with all the talent and money they spent, had to battle with Baltimore to the final day of the season to stay out of the cellar in the AL East — for a second straight year. Still, Michigan’s athletic director is asking fans to be patient with Rich-Rod. Hmm. I’m sure that directive will settle them down.

[Runway Ramblings]

randy-grossRandy Edsall.  Marry.
Do you take this man to be  your lawfully wedded coach?  In two point conversions and overtimes?  In personal fouls and new offensive coordinators? To have before practice and after meetings?  In ACL tears and sprained ankles, as long as your eligibility is active?  I do.
Coach Edsall has been a guiding light for UConn this season.  His job description changing drastically this past October.  Part head coach, part mentor, part emotional and spiritual rock, he’s a great coach, who still (trust me) has his players fighting for every inch on the football field.  UConn is 15 points away from being undefeated.

broncoBYU Head Coach, Bronco Mendenhall. Romance.
I have a few young kids that read this blog.  “Romance”…you get it.
Although I’ve violated a few Christian principles insinuating such a relationship, those “principals” are on loose ground here in Massachusetts anyway.  Bronco, in concurrence with his kick-ass name, has quietly lead BYU to a 7-2 showing thus far this season.  BYU has a very small recruiting pool from which to pull players.  Selling them not only on the football program but also the lifestyle at BYU.  I love this guy simply because he’s 5-0 on the road, which is a testament to the player’s preparation and determination, but also his ability as a head coach to focus his players in amidst all the distractions that come with playing an away game.  So, yeah I’d like to meet Bronco Mendenhall at TGI Fridays for a few Apple-tinis.


Tim Tebow.  Marry.  Then Divorce.
Maybe I’m one of the adoring millions who worship Tim Tebow on a daily basis.  But much like Tyler Lorenzen at UConn, it’s not necessarily his play making ability which makes him a success, but rather his ability to know how to win.  Finding a way to win is an incredible ability.  You know that characteristics I look for in my future spouse will be solid work ethic, consistency, humbleness, and a nice rear end.  Well, check, check, check, and double check.  So yeah, I’d marry the heck out of Tim Tebow right now, followed by a speedy divorce.  No way I’m going to the Philippines.
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch [DEADSPIN]

This Past Weekend In College Football

// September 28th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized


Well it’s the second episode of my new feature. If you missed last week’s installment, check it out here. For those of you unfamiliar with it, this is where I break down what we’ve learned about college football from the previous weekend’s games. Let us begin.

If this past weekend in college football has taught us anything …

It’s that after Tim Tebow went down, “concussion” replaced “early-bird special” as the most googled term in the state of Florida.

It’s that the Big East has rallied back from preseason obscurity. I doubt you’ll read about it anywhere but here, but they were 5-2 this weekend. Cincinnati cracked the top 10, South Florida took down Florida State, UConn embarrassed Rhode Island, and even Syracuse got in on the winning (hooray, Greg Paulus!).

It’s that, despite popular belief, getting only 17 yards rushing will not win you games in the ACC. Yes, I’m talking about you, University of North Carolina.

Tim Tebow States The Obvious, NCAA Probably Appalled

// August 31st, 2009 // 4 Comments » // Uncategorized


Listen, I’m not going to say I told you so, but  I told you so.   Tim Tebow came out in his interview with the New York Times and offered this exchange:

NYT: How close are you to graduation?

Tim Tebow : I’m going to graduate in December.

NYT: A light semester coming up, I assume?

TT: Yeah.

NYT: Ballroom dancing like Matt Leinart?

TT: (laughs) Easier.

NYT: What do you have?

TT: I guess the class that I would have is senior seminar. It’s one hour and one credit. It’s on Tuesday afternoons and we have practice. I’m going to work around that with the professors. I’m going to do whatever my counselor sets up. I’m a football player this semester.

You know, I did the same thing my senior year.  My class was one credit, it met once a week, and you know what our assignment was?  Start a blog (and that’s how this dream was born….)  Matt Leinart took ball room dancing, I took blogging 101, and Tim Tebow is taking a “Senior Seminar” (That’s SEC-Speak for, “I’ll see ya, when I see ya”). Just about every 5th year player takes this route, a candid Tim Tebow is not the exception, although this kind of honesty is a breath of fresh air.  But I know the NCAA doesn’t like the shroud of academic-amateurism to be lifted (it’s like lookin up their prom dress revealing that naughty ugly truth), so I’m sure somewhere in Indianapolis, NCAA officials are stewing, probably forming some committee (”Tebow-Gate!”), to pass some rule, freedom of speech be damned, hereby forbidding any collegiate athlete from stating the absolute obvious.